Check-ins are crucial with your partner, no matter where you two are located, what stage you're at in the relationship, or how well you think you know they are doing. You'd be surprised what revelations can come about with some routine chatting.
Life rarely allows us to calm down and get a chance to chat with the love of our life for hours at a time. That's why it's a great idea to set aside minutes throughout your days when you can dedicate your time, energy, and full attention to a productive conversation.
Here are some check-in questions that stood out to my husband and me while we were on the lookout for great ways to get to know what our feelings are throughout the days. The goal is to check in at least once a week at the very least, but multiple times a week is even better.
How do you think we are doing in terms of friendship?
Do you feel loved in your top love languages?
Is there anything I do that you'd like me to change?
How do you think we are doing in terms of intimacy?
What are your goals for our relationship?
Did we make enough time for closeness and connection this week? Should we do more next week?
What do you currently feel is your purpose in life?
Is there anything that you'd like to be acknowledged or appreciated for?
Are we satisfied with the way we've been dividing household roles and responsibilities?
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing but haven’t done yet?
What are your main stressors right now? How can I help?
Are you currently feeling insecure about anything?
Are you coping well with the daily grind?
Do you need space for yourself?
What are you looking forward to in the coming week?
Are we feeling good about ourselves as a parenting team?
Is there anything we’ve been avoiding?
What are your thoughts on kids/marriage/splitting our finances?
Do you feel like we've made enough time for each other in balance with our social life this week?
It is important to check on your status with one another when it comes to romance and intimacy, but don't forget that your partner is like your best friend as well. It's great to check in about all sorts of things, including finances, emotions, religion, politics, family life, and so much more.
When you are both on the same terms in terms of your spiritual bond, your romantic bond, and your friendship bond, communication can likely become easier since you both can anticipate one another's needs. Without this open conversation, things can get lost without translation.
It may seem awkward, but it's important to be honest when answering the questions. Complete transparency will help you and your lover and can really get rid of tension you may be harboring.
The more consistent you can be with your check-ins, the better. The more you can personalize your list of check-in questions to your and your partner's needs, the better.
You'll be surprised how easy a question can seem week after week until something in your life happens that makes that same question hit you completely differently. That will be the moment you need to confide in your partner the most.
The end of the day, when you both are in bed, could be the perfect time to check in if you both aren't the types to fall asleep or drift off during the conversation. The dinner table is also a great place for check-ins, especially if you don't have kids.