I say this all the time when I'm out and about. I love people, don't get me wrong. I love hanging out with friends, family, and even strangers from time to time. The problem is my social battery is extra small and low-quality. I've got an old car 1980s battery when it comes to my social tolerance.
I'm an introvert like many others, and I love being in my own space and having my alone time. I have moments where I'm talkative and can hang out for hours or days, but my energy is best when I'm alone in my own zone or with one or two other people very close to me.
If you're like me, you've had moments where you're socializing for a while, and you suddenly just need everything to end. You're ready to go home, you need your space to recharge, and you've had enough for the day.
When it gets really bad, I actually get a bit physically sick when trying to force myself to stay in a social scenario. I've had times when I had to immediately step away from a gathering and go home because I couldn't handle it in my gut.
Many of these times that this happens, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt along with the social battery drainage. I wonder to myself, "Why can't I just hang out longer like everybody and be okay? Why can't I be normal?"
The thing I have to remind myself is that introversion is normal, and it's totally fine. Introverts need to take time for themselves to recharge so that they can be the best versions of themselves (for themselves and for others).
Trying to force extroversion when your battery is drained is a recipe for disaster. You might wind up going to or staying at a party with negative vibes just oozing out of you, and that won't be fun for anyone. Sure, there are some times were can fake it til we make it, but that isn't doing any good for your own mental health.
So what can you do when you need to take some time out to recharge? I want to share a few ideas that may be able to help you recharge for minutes, hours or even days at a time. In some cases, you will just need to leave for the day, but sometimes you can charge up just enough in faster than you would think.
I'm actively using a few of these methods on a daily thanks to the teaching and research I've received from my therapist, who actively works with me to help fight against many different anxieties that I deal with all the time.
The one thing that helps me as I go through my process and symptoms of social battery drainage is to talk to someone I trust about it. I find that talking to my husband or my best friends about the matter really helps me to release some of the built-up tension I have.
Depending on where you are and who you are hanging out with, you may be able to just walk away from a function without any stress at all because you have a relationship with the people there who understand your personal needs.
Mindfulness meditation is a technique where you take a moment to find a quiet place, a comfortable place to sit or stand, and give yourself at least 15 minutes to clear your mind and breathe. I like doing mindfulness mediations where I inhale through my nose for 5 seconds, hold it for 5 seconds, and then breathe out through my mouth for 8 seconds.
When you do this type of meditational breathing repeatedly over several minutes, you find that you can trick your body into a state of relaxation.
The real trick with mindfulness meditation is to try and clear your mind while you breathe in and out. Often when we're going through periods of stress or exhaustion, our minds are racing a mile a minute and not helping the situation at all.
I like to focus on the breathing counts that I'm doing as I inhale in and out. Sure, some thoughts may push through here and there, but I don't judge myself for those thoughts and try to focus on the numbers in my head. Even if I can't fully clear my mind, it helps.
Writing your thoughts and frustration down is a great choice when you're at a function where your social battery is draining, and you don't think it's appropriate to leave or talk to someone about it. While it may not do much, and you'll still be drained, journaling is a great way to relieve some of that stress.
This is especially true if you do it consistently over time and make it a regular way for you to disconnect for a bit without leaving. You don't need to actually have a journal on you; you can vent in your notes app on your phone.
If you're in a spot where you can take a break, go outside, and enjoy the fresh air, take that opportunity to do so! Make sure you take a break alone so that you can have a moment of peace. It's even better if you're located somewhere where the view of nature is particularly beautiful to experience. It's a great way to meditate and recharge.
This may be the piece of advice you hate the worst; trust me, I don't like it either. But I find that when I was at my most hermit self, staying all alone for the most part and working from home, my social battery was at its smallest overall.
The more consistently I went out and got more social (in small doses), the more comfortable I was with being out for longer. It's always good to have balance as an introvert and to make sure you don't climb so far into your shell that you never want to come out.
Who doesn't love a good nap now and then? Sleep is a great choice for the introvert who has to be dragged along to a social experience that lasts for hours or a full day. You will find that sleep in between social moments can really help recharge you here and then.
The sleep doesn't even need to be that long. You can try short or power naps that are 15 to 30 minutes to reset yourself a bit in terms of social energy. It won't be as great as a full night's sleep, of course, but it's better than nothing.
If you find that you are often around friends, family, or coworkers in your schedule, you will need to take extra time and energy to fight for your personal space. Time management will be crucial for situations where you can only get a few minutes or hours to yourself a day.
Get a set schedule where you can put time aside to be in your own world, even if it's only for a few minutes. Make sure that time happens consistently. Don't budge for anyone because this is a huge part of self-care for you.
Working out is almost always a good idea. A nice walk with nature and a mindfulness meditation while you walk around may be able to fully recharge your battery when you combine them! According to the CDC website:
"Physical activity can improve your cognitive health—helping you think, learn, problem-solve, and enjoy an emotional balance. It can improve memory and reduce anxiety or depression."
We all love to relate to one another in some form or fashion. Even though introverts like being in their own space, they also appreciate not being alone with that behavior pattern. I find that venting to my other introvert friends helps relieve some of my stress and tension.
You don't even have to be around other introverts to relate to one another. There are plenty of social sites and groups out there dedicated to introverts who can relate and converse with one another on the type of terms that introverts feel comfy! Let's shun the extroverts for a bit!
I have to stress this point one more time because it's the message I need to get across to myself the most! I can only imagine the pressure that other introverts put on themselves when it comes to their social battery draining. You can feel like a party pooper, a bad person, a weirdo, and tons of other negative names when you hit those low battery moments.
BUT IT IS TOTALLY OKAY!
As long as you communicate with those around you, try as hard as you can, be there in moments where you can, and give yourself the grace to be who you are, everything will work out as it should.
Don't let anyone tell you that you are a bad person for being who you are when it comes to introversion. And don't let yourself tell yourself that you are a bad person for being an introvert.
We've all had a moment in our lives where it seems like we couldn't like or accept ourselves. Whether it be physical or mental, feeling insecure is one of the worst ways to feel in the world. It seems like it could be so easy to reverse that train of thought, but the harder you try, the more difficult it can seem to get.
Insecurity comes in many different forms and affects us in different ways as well. We can have constant insecurity gnaw at us all of our lives subconsciously, or we can be hit with a huge dose of insecurity right at the peak of an embarrassing moment.
Fortunately, there are a few ways to combat feelings of anxiety and insecurity that are truly effective. One method is to read motivational excerpts from prolific writers who can provide you with daily affirmations to build your strength and confidence.
What better book to reference that can provide us with positive affirmations of our lives than The Holy Bible? The good book provides tons of advice in life about love, loss, war, sin, and so many things, but many forget that The Bible can also help you with your insecurities.
I want to share some of my favorite bible verses that have helped me through my journey of defeating my insecurities day by day. Some of these messages are stored in my personal notes for daily affirmations, and it helps to repeat them time and again to remind me of what I need.
I hope these verses can also provide you with the power and love in your heart that you are in need of at a time when insecurity may be trying to rip you apart. The first step to letting go of the load is to realize that you are not alone in this.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
2 You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. 3 You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
4 Such confidence we have through Christ before God. 5 Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 6 He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
5 Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever
After my hubby proposed to me a couple of years back, I had a burning desire to return the favor with something that matched his taste and preferences that he would cherish. I planned out a whole thing with a dance and a song, and I proposed to him a few weeks after he proposed to me.
But as I was doing my research to find the perfect ring for him, I realized there aren't really that many options out there when it comes to engagement rings for men. Wedding bands and engagements kind of blend into one product when it comes to shopping for guys, and the market seems to be very small.
As I was planning to propose to my boo, people were making faces when I told them my plans and saying things like, "Oh, aren't you modern." I really didn't think about how engagement rings were seemingly only for women until I got proposed to.
What's so bad about getting a guy a ring, and why aren't jewelers capitalizing on the prospect of selling more with two rings instead of one when it comes to this very special moment in a couple's lives?
I almost took offense to the whole idea that I would be the only one getting a ring for the engagement because I felt like I wasn't the only one entering the agreement, so it didn't make a lick of sense to me. Just as much as Julian saw me as the prize, I wanted to see him as the prize as well.
One of the known reasons behind this lacking of male bling is because of the history of how engagement rings work. Before 1945, this ring was tied to a woman's virginity and used as a type of collateral. Very old-timey and a hot mess, I know.
Back in the day, giving a girl an engagement ring allowed a man to give her a test drive, so to speak. But if he backed out of the engagement, she would be able to keep the ring that was given as a sort of insurance. And this was needed because in the olden days if you were deflowered and not wed, you would be damaged goods.
If you were damaged goods, then you would not be able to find a husband, which would put your financial situation in grave danger as a woman in those times. But for a man, purity or virginity didn't have the same weight, so it wasn't necessary for them to get these rings.
In more modern times, where women are more sexually liberated and able to provide for themselves financially, the rules don't really need to apply the same way that they did back in the day, but old habits stick.
This is not to say that I am a super unique case when it comes to getting an engagement ring for my man. Many other ladies have chosen to do the same shortly after being proposed to, and more modern ladies out there have decided to be the first ones to get down on one knee and propose to their man!
Giving your man an engagement ring would rarely be a bad idea. It's a great way to show your man that you appreciate and cherish him as much as he does you and a good way to signify that you are entering into a partnership where both of you can shine.
If your guy is one that already into wearing jewelry and likes to be a bit flashy, getting a ring for him is a definite yes. If one of his top love languages is receiving gifts, he will absolutely cherish the ring you give him.
If you have a guy that really doesn't like to wear jewelry or a ring, in particular, you may want to try showing your appreciation for him in the form of a different gift that fits his preferences better.
Should you feel compelled like you absolutely have to get your man a ring just because he gave one to you? Absolutely not! If that's not your style, then don't try to force something that isn't natural for you. You can have a perfectly healthy engagement and marriage without giving him an engagement ring.
It's a myth that wearing an engagement ring will make your guy less of a man, so don't subscribe to that nonsense if you hear someone spouting it around you or him. There also won't be any bad luck of you put a ring on him before the wedding.
Now here's the tricky part: where to find a good ring to buy! As I previously stated, when you're shopping for an engagement ring for men, you'll likely just run across a bunch of wedding bands since the market isn't really large enough.
You'll also run into a ton of cheap rings. The price for a guy's ring will be around 1/10th of the rings you'll see for women. While it may seem like a bad idea, a cheap ring can really come in handy for a guy that enjoys simple things and doesn't need anything that will break the bank.
For rings on the cheaper side that are more of a token of love and great for young couples, you can find some pretty nice choices on a site like Amazon that will give you a bit of variety when it comes to sellers and designs.
If you're looking for more premium products with rings that are designed to last for a long time, try a brand like Manly Bands, which has tons of lovely-looking rings that men are very proud to rock wherever they go.
To avoid getting your fiance basically two bands, consider getting him a less expensive ring for the engagement and replacing that with a fancier band for the wedding. The wedding bands look just like engagement rings for men, and it's not likely that you'll find a man who will want to wear two bands.
It was easy to get away with dumb excuses as a child for not doing things, like. "my dog ate my homework". It's been pretty risky to get away with dumb excuses as a young adult for not doing things, like, "I didn't get your text". But are you sick of the excuses and ready to find more mature ways to turn things and people down?
As a struggling introvert that loses her social energy super fast, I'm sick of the excuses. I'm also trying to be a woman of God, so I want to avoid the lies, even if they can be little white or grey ones.
When it comes to social rules and regulations, a lot of things are hard to grasp and unspoken. When you have friends, family members, coworkers, or acquaintances inviting you to things you don't want to go to, it's not always appropriate to flat-out say no.
So how do you come up with a good excuse or reason not to hang out somewhere that won't be a huge lie and won't make you look like a terrible person? Below are some of the phrases I like to use that doesn't make me feel extra guilt afterward, and people don't cut me off with hurt feelings for it.
This is my go-to excuse because it's really the most honest one I have. A lot of times, I'm considering going out, there is work that I could be doing instead. So if at that moment I really don't want to go out, I will likely do some light work while I watch Netflix.
This is a good excuse to use with people who know me and those who don't know how small my social battery is. We can all relate to drained energy, and you don't even have to get specific about if it's your mental or physical energy that is drained.
This is a great general phrase that could be saying you're sick and contagious or could be saying you're feeling lazy and depressed. The only risk with this one is that there will possibly be an immediate follow-up question about what's wrong.
You can answer with any current physical or mental problem you're going through. I, for example, am suffering from allergies on a daily. While it rarely keeps me down so much that I can't function, I'm also never lying when I say my allergies bothered me that day.
Chances are, if you're dreading a hang out with a group of people, you're also going through some negative self-talk in your head. So, it won't be too much of a stretch to say that your energy is too negative to show up at the function.
No one wants to be around a negative nancy, and although you may be able to brighten your mood (or fake it long enough to hang out), you can say that you don't know for sure if you will be able to fight the funk.
This won't work for all my rich folks out there, but I, for one, can often relate to being broke in some type of way when it comes to my finances. I'm not claiming broke to the point where I'm struggling, but middle-class Americans are all BROKE from some perspective!
This is a good excuse for when you have a lot going on, but you don't want to unload all the details on the person inviting you. If you simply say this phrase with a worried look, they will likely be able to relate. It could be work, family, love life drama, health, and so many other things that won't allow you to hang out.
We've all experienced some form of anxiety in our lives because that's a huge part of human nature. I used to have really bad anxiety that still stops me from things here and there, which could be my perfect excuse for not going out.
Social anxiety is a great reason for not going somewhere, but you could also claim health-related anxiety like OCD or PTSD that is stopping you from going to a certain place or at a certain time if you want to stretch it with a white lie.
I want to end on a note that is something like a devil's advocate point of view. These can all be good reasons not to hang out with whomever for whatever reason, but even introverts like me have moments where they regret not hanging out, or they force themselves to go and wind up being grateful they did.
Before delivering your excuse, ask yourself if this is something you really should be excusing yourself from. Is this the type of thing that you drag your feet to involve yourself with but enjoy once you get there?
Is this the type of activity event where the pros will vastly outweigh the cons when it comes to the overall experience? Is this a situation where your presence will help bless someone else or several other people?
Sometimes it's great to turn down things for your own health and peace of mind, but other moments are times when you can really be a light to help shine in someone else's life.
I'm guilty of creeping on my husband multiple times a day when it comes to his physical attributes. This is not at all a bad thing on its own, but I realized that it's good to have balance when it comes to how you shower your partner with compliments.
This is especially true if you are in a relationship where words of affirmation are a top love language that your partner craves. If you're not sure if that's one of their top love languages, check out a quiz site like this and make sure they take the test!
Sure, we're all really attracted to our partners when it comes to their physical attributes, but what else do you love about them? And how can you express your love in the form of a compliment without it sounding forced or cheesy?
There will probably be a good amount of cheese when it comes to your compliments, but the key to making it sound genuine and really touch their heartstrings is to make it really personal.
Physical compliments can be lovely to hear, but they are often so general and not personal or well-though through. Think about phrases like, "baby, you look so good," or "your eyes are so beautiful," but what unique attributes does your partner have?
Take some of my examples for non-physical compliments below. These will be particular to my husband in a lot of ways, but you can use them for inspiration to highlight some of your partners' really good qualities. My husband also has a ton of qualities that I'm sure many good men share!
One thing I want to point out is that I've reserved the last few sentences to be ideas for compliments of gratitude. A lot of compliments can be based on gratitude and a bit of selfishness: some focus on how a person makes them feel or what they do for them.
But you want to see the bigger picture with your partner and see the good qualities that they have that aren't necessarily related strictly to you. It's always great to share how someone makes you feel, but don't forget about the other things they possess that can make others feel better as well.
You are such a warm presence to be around.
You're very helpful and loving, and not just to me!
You have so much patience, I need to be more like you.
I love the way you think.
You're so good to your friends and family members.
I love the way you express your feelings and emotions in your own way.
You need to be doing an open mic at a standup comedy show.
Are you real? (This one is one of his favorites, haha.)
I'm so happy you put up with me. (But be careful with the self-deprecation.)
You're giving off a lot of husbandly vibes right now.
You're like a superhero. (I said this on our first date, and I've said it since; he works in the paramedic field.)
You have better taste in music than I do!
You're so in tune with your spirituality and faith in a very honest way.
Your opinions matter so much, and they need to be heard; they are often spot-on.
You have such a mature way of dealing with your anger and aggression.
I love how your actions and your words actually line up.
I love how deep our romantic relationship and friendship roots are planted thanks to your character.
Your flaws and shortcomings make you even more beautiful of a man.
I'm so proud of your growth through the years.
Your food is consistently delicious; what a chef!
You have such a positive energy to be around.
You're the type of person to get through the toughest times without breaking.
You have so many good things going for you with all of those beautiful personality traits of yours.
I love the way you make me feel when I'm around you; your love feels like home.
You make me feel so secure and safe when I'm with you.
My life has felt elevated ever since we've been together.
You give me such selfless love that makes me believe in people more in general.
I love how beautiful you make me feel.
You do really great at loving me in my preferred love languages.
I'm so grateful for the efforts that you put into this relationship day after day.
Our view of the correct way to act in life is shaped by our past experiences. We sometimes forget that when we expect people to act how we would act in any given scenario. People are not shaped the same way we have been shaped, so you can't expect 'you' from other people.
It's hard to come to grips with this fact when you're faced with a moment of confusion when someone lets you down by not making the 'right' decision. But what is right for you may not be right for them. Or even worse, you may be objectively wrong about the correct choice to make.
When we first come into the world as little babies, we form a perception that the entire universe revolves around us. Even though that type of selfish thinking fades over time, adults are often plagued with the idea that people's mind works the same way that theirs does.
But it's not true. Our minds all work in strange and unique ways. Some of this is because of nature, some of the reason is down to nurture, and the rest is shaped by pure life experience.
We can all have different morals and different ways we process problems and life's struggles. To expect that people will make the same decisions as you as they walk through their very different paths in life is a bit silly. The more you realize this, the clearer your head will become about the situation overall.
We all have different personality traits. Some of us are extroverted and make decisions based on that fact, while others are introverted, and their need for alone time or to stay out of the spotlight can shape their decision-making process.
Many people who are generally good human beings expect that people, at worst, are about as good as they are. But there are tons of terrible folks just walking around the planet at this very moment.
A common sentiment among decent and good people, when faced with someone who makes an awful moral choice, is that "it just doesn't make sense. How could someone be so cruel or evil to another person?
Most decent people would have to be pushed to extremes to relate to that type of behavior, but many unkind people are living among us as neighbors, friends, and family members. In the case of virtue, you should definitely not expect 'you' from people.
Another common moment where you may mistakenly believe that people will make the same decision that you would is when it comes to being stuck in a vicious cycle. These cycles can include bad relationships, addictions, and complacency.
No matter how much a person can realize how bad their current cycle is, you can't get them out of it by simply telling them to do what you would do.
Think of it this way: what if you knew something that you were doing was wrong, and you knew exactly how to stop it, but you just didn't have the willpower to make it happen? It can be easy to judge someone's life from the outside in, but take a moment to put yourself in another person's shoes.
This one is especially for my ladies out there. We sometimes think that our words, our non-verbal communication, and our overall connection with someone can grant them access to reading out minds. This can be completely unfair to do!
I know what it can feel like to wish that your significant other will just do exactly what you want because they should know you. But there are so many factors that could be stopping them from being on your same wavelength, so help them with open and honest communication.
It can feel strange to get what you want to truly get out in a tense scenario, so don't be afraid to get creative with your communication methods. You can write a letter, send a voice chat, write a poem, or just take some time to gather your thoughts to present to them at a later time.
Men often suck at trying to hide the surprises that they have for you. The more in love with you and excited they are, the clumsier they can get. This is where you can take advantage and get the inside scoop on whether or not he's about to propose!
My husband was particularly sloppy around the month that he planned to propose, and it was hilariously adorable how he thought he was slick. He made up some story about his grandma needing to get her ring size and the fact that our fingers looked about the same. Super sloppy, sir.
There are at two reasons you'll be able to tell that he's got something up his sleeve. First off, a lot of boyfriends can be terrible planners. This can cause them to take drastic and overly-obvious measures to get to that 'will you marry me' moment.
Another thing to consider is that he'll be super nervous about the whole ordeal. Chances are, you know how he acts in general when he's nervous or bubbly about something that's coming up, and his emotional energy will be a dead giveaway.
This is a huge deal, especially if you see him getting really chatty with a father figure in your life. The traditional way to go with engagements is to get the approval of the father first.
If your man starts mentioning things about the future, what type of house you'll be living in, and the money he sees you both making a few years down the line, he has probably made up his mind that he'll be proposing to you pretty soon.
All relationships can have friction from time to time, even if it seems so light that it's something you both can have fun with. But when your man is about to propose to you, he'll be extra careful to make sure that things are going as smoothly as possible with you. He needs you to say yes to his big question, so it may seem like he's saying yes to everything you as!
As I mentioned, my husband was not slick with the ring sizing secrecy. I'll admit that it was a tough question to crack since I didn't wear rings before we got married. Many guys will draw a blank when to comes to a slick way to get your ring size.
Is your man being a bit more frugal than usual, and you don't know the reason? He may be saving up for something special, like an engagement ring. If he's saving for something else, you would likely be in on the details.
This directly ties into my last point. If you notice he's secretive about his shopping and browsing habits, an upcoming engagement might be the reason. He may even start hiding his phone to make sure he doesn't slip up. This could be something else entirely, though, so make sure you're jumping to a likely conclusion.
If you do come across his phone, or computer, or happen to share his wifi, personalized ads can really give stuff away. If he were shopping for engagement rings online, many advertisers would remind him of that with banner ads on all types of social sites and blogs.
Is there a holiday coming up that he's being extra dramatic about this year for some reason? Is there a trip he's planning that's weirding you out because he's rarely the one to plan trips, especially if it seems particularly fancy for no specific reason? he may have gotten you a ring already.
People love to reminisce about the good times when they are at significant stages in their lives. Your man has probably spent some time going over all the ways your relationship makes him happy and wants to share some of those moments with you by default out of love.
Now that he's looked back over his life and he's thinking things over, your boo will be in the mindset of getting himself together as a man to prepare for this crucial moment in his journey. He may make better financial choices, learn things around the house, and even improve communication.
A man that is planning to win you over and make you say yes to one of the most important questions he'll ever ask in his life is likely to try and look his absolute best around that time as well. Looking better will help him feel better, and make him a more attractive mate that you can agree to marry.
Men who are looking forward to getting married can often show their excitement in the form of mental touch and physical closeness. He wants to be your physical security and protector, and he thrives on the idea that you will be all his.
Not only can men get touch-feely when they are in love and about to give you an engagement ring, but they get a sort of twinkle in their eye that can be a bit transparent if you know how to read them well enough as a partner. You'll see the whirlwind of happiness and visions of your future together in his gaze back at you.
You'll probably see him being a little nervous and unlike himself, if he's near the time when he wants to propose to you. People give off nervous energy in a variety of different ways depending on their personality traits. He may be more chatty or less. He may be more chipper or more worried.
While guys like to go to the family members for approval, they also tend to go for the best friends when it comes to ring choices and plans for the day that they will propose. People in relationships have a general consensus that your friends will know more about what you want than your family would, but it's all case by case.
A lot of new couples get together and chat about having babies and getting married early on. Many of us have gone that far, even on the first date. But there's a subtle change in the marriage and family talk when they mean it. It's a little less cutest and more concrete with the plans.
Intuition can be a crazy thing that some people don't believe exists at all. I've often found that intuition can be paranoia, which is all in your head, but I've also seen that it can be a response to genuine non-verbal communication signals.
If the natural progression of things seems like it is heading towards marriage based on all of your previous successful days together, then that may be enough of a sign in itself. As long as you both are on the same page in terms of communication, you can truly be like a mind-reader and know that the ring is coming!
Check-ins are crucial with your partner, no matter where you two are located, what stage you're at in the relationship, or how well you think you know they are doing. You'd be surprised what revelations can come about with some routine chatting.
Life rarely allows us to calm down and get a chance to chat with the love of our life for hours at a time. That's why it's a great idea to set aside minutes throughout your days when you can dedicate your time, energy, and full attention to a productive conversation.
Here are some check-in questions that stood out to my husband and me while we were on the lookout for great ways to get to know what our feelings are throughout the days. The goal is to check in at least once a week at the very least, but multiple times a week is even better.
How do you think we are doing in terms of friendship?
Do you feel loved in your top love languages?
Is there anything I do that you'd like me to change?
How do you think we are doing in terms of intimacy?
What are your goals for our relationship?
Did we make enough time for closeness and connection this week? Should we do more next week?
What do you currently feel is your purpose in life?
Is there anything that you'd like to be acknowledged or appreciated for?
Are we satisfied with the way we've been dividing household roles and responsibilities?
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing but haven’t done yet?
What are your main stressors right now? How can I help?
Are you currently feeling insecure about anything?
Are you coping well with the daily grind?
Do you need space for yourself?
What are you looking forward to in the coming week?
Are we feeling good about ourselves as a parenting team?
Is there anything we’ve been avoiding?
What are your thoughts on kids/marriage/splitting our finances?
Do you feel like we've made enough time for each other in balance with our social life this week?
It is important to check on your status with one another when it comes to romance and intimacy, but don't forget that your partner is like your best friend as well. It's great to check in about all sorts of things, including finances, emotions, religion, politics, family life, and so much more.
When you are both on the same terms in terms of your spiritual bond, your romantic bond, and your friendship bond, communication can likely become easier since you both can anticipate one another's needs. Without this open conversation, things can get lost without translation.
It may seem awkward, but it's important to be honest when answering the questions. Complete transparency will help you and your lover and can really get rid of tension you may be harboring.
The more consistent you can be with your check-ins, the better. The more you can personalize your list of check-in questions to your and your partner's needs, the better.
You'll be surprised how easy a question can seem week after week until something in your life happens that makes that same question hit you completely differently. That will be the moment you need to confide in your partner the most.
The end of the day, when you both are in bed, could be the perfect time to check in if you both aren't the types to fall asleep or drift off during the conversation. The dinner table is also a great place for check-ins, especially if you don't have kids.