Category: Self Love

100 Self-Love Mantras That Can Change Your Life

Self-Love Mantras

A mantra is a sacred word, phrase, sound, or group of words that is repeated and chanted during meditation or prayer.

The word "mantra" is derived from two Sanskrit words: "man," which means mind, and "tra," which means tool or instrument. Therefore, a mantra is often considered a tool for the mind.

Self-love mantras are affirmations or phrases that individuals repeat to cultivate a positive and loving attitude toward themselves.

These mantras can be powerful tools for promoting self-acceptance, boosting self-esteem, and fostering a more compassionate relationship with oneself.

When using self-love mantras, it's important to repeat them regularly with sincerity and belief. The goal is to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations, gradually reshaping your mindset and building a healthier relationship with yourself.

Combining these mantras with mindfulness and self-care practices can contribute to a more positive and loving self-perception.

100 Self-Love Mantras

  1. I am worthy of love and respect.
  2. My worth is not determined by the opinions of others.
  3. I choose to release self-criticism and embrace self-compassion.
  4. I am deserving of happiness and fulfillment.
  5. I am not perfect, and that's okay.
  6. I am a work in progress, and I celebrate my growth.
  7. I honor the essence of who I am.
  8. I am proud of the person I am becoming.
  9. I am enough just as I am.
  10. I forgive myself for past mistakes and learn from them.
  11. I trust in my ability to overcome challenges.
  12. I am a beacon of love and positivity.
  13. My body is a vessel of strength and resilience.
  14. I am the author of my own story and can rewrite it at any time.
  15. I am not defined by my past; I am empowered by my future.
  16. I radiate confidence, self-respect, and inner harmony.
  17. I am free to create the life I desire.
  18. My heart is open, and I am ready to receive love.
  19. I choose to let go of self-doubt and embrace self-belief.
  20. I am a unique and valuable person.
  21. I attract positive energy into my life.
  22. I release the need for approval from others.
  23. I am a magnet for success and positive outcomes.
  24. My mind is filled with positive and loving thoughts.
  25. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
  26. I trust myself and my intuition.
  27. I am worthy of my dreams and goals.
  28. I am deserving of good things in life.
  29. I choose love, joy, and abundance.
  30. I am in charge of how I feel, and today I choose happiness.
  31. I release self-sabotage and embrace self-empowerment.
  32. I am a powerful creator of my reality.
  33. My self-worth is not contingent on the opinions of others.
  34. I am worthy of self-care and nourishment.
  35. I love and appreciate my body just as it is.
  36. I let go of comparisons and embrace my unique journey.
  37. I am a valuable and necessary part of the universe.
  38. I am grateful for the gift of life.
  39. I choose thoughts that nourish and support me.
  40. I am surrounded by love, and all is well.
  41. I am a source of inspiration for others.
  42. I trust the process of life and let go of control.
  43. I am resilient and can handle whatever comes my way.
  44. I am constantly evolving and growing.
  45. I am deserving of love and kindness.
  46. I choose peace over worry and stress.
  47. I am a beautiful soul with a unique purpose.
  48. I let go of fear and embrace love.
  49. I am proud of my achievements, big and small.
  50. I am the architect of my life; I build its foundation and choose its contents.
  51. I am worthy of success and prosperity.
  52. I release the need for perfection and embrace my authentic self.
  53. I am a vessel of love and compassion.
  54. I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
  55. I let go of guilt and forgive myself.
  56. I am capable of achieving my goals.
  57. I am a magnet for positive opportunities.
  58. I choose love, joy, and gratitude in every moment.
  59. I am connected to the wisdom of the universe.
  60. I am a unique and valuable person.
  61. I trust that everything is unfolding for my highest good.
  62. I am in control of my thoughts and choose positivity.
  63. I am free to be myself, and I love who I am.
  64. I am a loving and caring friend to myself.
  65. I release self-doubt and embrace self-love.
  66. I am deserving of all the good things life has to offer.
  67. I choose to see the good in myself and others.
  68. I am a powerful force for positive change.
  69. I let go of old, negative beliefs that no longer serve me.
  70. I am worthy of abundance in all areas of my life.
  71. I am grateful for the gift of today.
  72. I am surrounded by love and support.
  73. I am open to receiving love and kindness from others.
  74. I trust that the universe has a plan for me.
  75. I am resilient, strong, and capable.
  76. I am a beacon of love and light in the world.
  77. I am worthy of all the blessings that come my way.
  78. I release the need to control everything and trust in the unfolding of my life.
  79. I am at peace with my past and excited for my future.
  80. I am constantly learning and growing.
  81. I am a magnet for miracles.
  82. I choose to be kind to myself and others.
  83. I am deserving of joy, love, and abundance.
  84. I trust the journey, even when I do not understand it.
  85. I am a loving and positive influence on those around me.
  86. I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to.
  87. I choose to let go of negative thoughts and focus on the positive.
  88. I am a unique and valuable person, and I bring my own special light to the world.
  89. I am worthy of love and all the good things life has to offer.
  90. I am grateful for the experiences that have shaped me into who I am today.
  91. I trust in the process of life and let go of the need to control everything.
  92. I am free to create the life I desire.
  93. I am deserving of success, happiness, and love.
  94. I choose to see the good in myself and others.
  95. I am confident in my ability to overcome challenges.
  96. I am a vessel of love and compassion.
  97. I am worthy of respect and kindness.
  98. I am constantly evolving and growing.
  99. I am grateful for the gift of life.
  100. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.

Feel free to choose the mantras that resonate most with you, and incorporate them into your daily practice of self-love and positive affirmation.

Remember, the key is to repeat these affirmations with sincerity and belief to harness their transformative power.

Posted in: Self Love
Quotes About Protecting Your Peace For Your Emotional Health

Protecting Your Peace 

"Protecting Your Peace" is a lovely and vital concept that emphasizes taking proactive measures to safeguard one's mental and emotional well-being.

It involves recognizing and prioritizing your mental health, creating boundaries, and making choices that contribute to a sense of inner calm and balance. Here are some key aspects of protecting your peace:

  1. Self-awareness: Understand your emotions, triggers, and stressors. Being aware of your feelings allows you to address them and take necessary steps to maintain your peace of mind.

  2. Setting boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial for protecting your peace. This involves learning to say no when necessary, communicating your needs to others, and creating a healthy balance between personal and social commitments.

  3. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness and staying present in the moment. Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you manage stress, reduce anxiety, and promote a sense of calm.

  4. Positive relationships: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Limit exposure to toxic relationships and environments that may negatively impact your mental health.

  5. Healthy habits: Prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This can include regular exercise, sufficient sleep, a balanced diet, and activities that bring you joy.

  6. Limiting negativity: Minimize exposure to negative influences, whether it be through social media, news, or other sources. Be selective about the information and energy you allow into your life.

  7. Gratitude: Cultivate a sense of gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life. Reflecting on the things you're thankful for can shift your mindset and contribute to a more positive outlook.

  8. Time management: Organize your time effectively to reduce stress and create a sense of order in your life. Prioritize tasks, set realistic goals, and avoid overcommitting yourself.

  9. Learning to let go: Understand that there are things beyond your control, and it's okay to let go of what you cannot change. Acceptance and adaptability are key components of protecting your peace.

  10. Seeking support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support when needed. Whether it's talking to a friend, family member, or seeking professional help, having a support system can be invaluable in maintaining your mental and emotional well-being.

It's all about making intentional choices that prioritize your mental health and contribute to a sense of overall well-being in the face of life's challenges.

Now, let's go through some of my favorite quotes that remind me why it's critical to protect my peace and sanity! I have a few of these in my notes in case I need a reminder. 

Quotes About Protecting Your Peace 

“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.” ― Wayne W. Dyer

“Always ask yourself: "What will happen if I say nothing?” ― Kamand Kojouri

“Be mindful of what you consume – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Protect your peace by choosing positivity.” ― Unknown

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." – William James

“Nothing can disturb your peace of mind unless you allow it to.” – Roy T. Bennett

"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black

“Do not look for happiness outside yourself. The awakened seek happiness inside.” – Peter Deunov

“Not everyone deserves access to you.” – Unknown

"Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind." — Buddha

“Surround yourself with people who uplift your soul and protect your peace.” – Unknown

“When you do the right thing, you get the feeling of peace and serenity associated with it. Do it again and again.” ― Roy T. Bennett

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” —Dalai Lama

“Always say ‘my peace is more important’ when you find yourself reacting to something that doesn’t deserve your energy.” – Idil Ahmed

“If it costs you your peace it’s too expensive.” – Unknown

“Nothing external to you has any power over you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on." — Eckhart Tolle

“Be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better than being right.” – Unknown

“Let go of the thoughts that don’t make you strong." —Karen Salmansohn

“Inner Peace Tip: You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to” – Priya Florence Shah

"Your peace is more important than driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did. Let it go." – Mandy Hale

“Be so grounded with your peace that no one can disturb it.” – Unknown

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brené Brown

"The greatest misfortune that can come to a human being is to lose his inner peace. No outer force can rob him of it. It is his own thoughts, his own actions that rob him of it." — Sir Chinmoy

“Protect your peace like a warrior guards their castle. Let go of what no longer serves you.” ― Unknown

"Nothing can disturb your peace of mind unless you allow it to." – Roy T. Bennett

“When life gets overwhelming, take a step back, breathe, and protect your peace.” ― Unknown

“Go in the direction where your peace is coming from.” – C. Joybell C.

“Remaining in the wrong environment will not only drain your energy, but it will hurt your soul.” – Caitlin Gibson

“Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.” – Kimberly Jones

“Forgive, not because they deserve your forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” – Unknown

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love." — Mahatma Gandhi

"Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions." – Gerald G. Jampolsky

“Peace is not found in the absence of problems but in the presence of resilience and self-care.” ― Unknown

Posted in: Self Love
Not Everyone Is Going To Like You - And 8 Reasons Why That's OK

Not Everyone Is Going To Like You 

In a world where acceptance and understanding are paramount, acknowledging that not everyone will like you is a powerful revelation. In the vast tapestry of human connections, it's an inevitable truth: not everyone is going to like you. In fact, that's perfectly normal.

Understand the Unavoidable

Embracing the idea that not everyone will like you is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. People are diverse, with varied backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences. It's natural that not every person you encounter will resonate with your personality or values.

Recognizing this fact liberates you from the burden of seeking universal approval, allowing you to focus on being authentic and true to yourself.

Focus More On Where Love Is Mutual

Relationships thrive in an atmosphere of mutual respect and affection. Instead of investing energy in one-sided friendships, focus on nurturing connections where love and appreciation flow both ways. These relationships act as a source of emotional support, encouragement, and joy, enriching your life in profound ways.

It Can Show You Some Flaws

Interactions where you face dislike or criticism can act as mirrors reflecting your own flaws and shortcomings. Rather than dismissing negative feedback, use it as a catalyst for self-improvement.

Embrace the opportunity to introspect, identify areas for growth, and work on becoming a better version of yourself. Personal growth often stems from the willingness to confront our imperfections.

No One Has Time To Be Friends With Everyone

The adage "quality over quantity" holds immense truth in the realm of friendships. Meaningful connections are not determined by the number of friends you have but by the depth of the relationships you cultivate.

Investing time and effort in a few genuine friendships can provide a sense of belonging, understanding, and camaraderie that a myriad of shallow connections never could.

Some Personality Types Just Don't Match, No Big Deal

Human personalities are diverse and complex. Some individuals naturally click, while others simply don't. It's crucial to understand that a lack of compatibility doesn't diminish your worth or theirs.

Facing the reality that not every personality will mesh well with yours liberates you from the pressure of trying to please everyone. Authenticity shines brightest when you allow yourself to be who you are, even if it means not being universally liked.

Being Comfortable With This Can Boost Your Self Worth 

Self-worth is rooted in self-acceptance and self-love. Embracing the fact that not everyone will like you is a testament to your self-assurance. Your value isn't contingent upon the approval of others; it emanates from within.

Understanding this empowers you to navigate social situations with confidence, drawing people who appreciate and respect you for your authentic self.

Working With People You Don't Like Can Make You A Better Person

Working with people you don’t like can be challenging, but it offers invaluable lessons in patience, empathy, and tolerance. These experiences refine your interpersonal skills, teaching you to navigate diverse personalities and perspectives.

Overcoming conflicts and misunderstandings fosters emotional resilience, transforming you into a compassionate and understanding individual.

Developing Empathy

When you encounter people who dislike you, it’s an opportunity to practice empathy. Try to understand their perspective and motivations. Empathizing with their feelings and experiences can provide valuable insights into human nature and broaden your own understanding of the complexities of relationships.

Some Relationships Blossom From Hate

Remarkably, some of the most profound relationships can emerge from initial dislike or animosity. People change, circumstances evolve, and perspectives shift over time.

A disagreement or conflict that once created distance might pave the way for mutual understanding and respect. These relationships, born from adversity, often possess a depth and authenticity that is truly transformative.

Posted in: Self Love
Social Battery Drained? - 10 Tips For Recovering

My Social Battery Is Drained

I say this all the time when I'm out and about. I love people, don't get me wrong. I love hanging out with friends, family, and even strangers from time to time. The problem is my social battery is extra small and low-quality. I've got an old car 1980s battery when it comes to my social tolerance.

I'm an introvert like many others, and I love being in my own space and having my alone time. I have moments where I'm talkative and can hang out for hours or days, but my energy is best when I'm alone in my own zone or with one or two other people very close to me. 

If you're like me, you've had moments where you're socializing for a while, and you suddenly just need everything to end. You're ready to go home, you need your space to recharge, and you've had enough for the day. 

When it gets really bad, I actually get a bit physically sick when trying to force myself to stay in a social scenario. I've had times when I had to immediately step away from a gathering and go home because I couldn't handle it in my gut.

Many of these times that this happens, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt along with the social battery drainage. I wonder to myself, "Why can't I just hang out longer like everybody and be okay? Why can't I be normal?"

The thing I have to remind myself is that introversion is normal, and it's totally fine. Introverts need to take time for themselves to recharge so that they can be the best versions of themselves (for themselves and for others).

Trying to force extroversion when your battery is drained is a recipe for disaster. You might wind up going to or staying at a party with negative vibes just oozing out of you, and that won't be fun for anyone. Sure, there are some times were can fake it til we make it, but that isn't doing any good for your own mental health. 

So what can you do when you need to take some time out to recharge? I want to share a few ideas that may be able to help you recharge for minutes, hours or even days at a time. In some cases, you will just need to leave for the day, but sometimes you can charge up just enough in faster than you would think.

I'm actively using a few of these methods on a daily thanks to the teaching and research I've received from my therapist, who actively works with me to help fight against many different anxieties that I deal with all the time. 

Be Honest

The one thing that helps me as I go through my process and symptoms of social battery drainage is to talk to someone I trust about it. I find that talking to my husband or my best friends about the matter really helps me to release some of the built-up tension I have.

Depending on where you are and who you are hanging out with, you may be able to just walk away from a function without any stress at all because you have a relationship with the people there who understand your personal needs. 

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation is a technique where you take a moment to find a quiet place, a comfortable place to sit or stand, and give yourself at least 15 minutes to clear your mind and breathe. I like doing mindfulness mediations where I inhale through my nose for 5 seconds, hold it for 5 seconds, and then breathe out through my mouth for 8 seconds. 

When you do this type of meditational breathing repeatedly over several minutes, you find that you can trick your body into a state of relaxation.

The real trick with mindfulness meditation is to try and clear your mind while you breathe in and out. Often when we're going through periods of stress or exhaustion, our minds are racing a mile a minute and not helping the situation at all. 

I like to focus on the breathing counts that I'm doing as I inhale in and out. Sure, some thoughts may push through here and there, but I don't judge myself for those thoughts and try to focus on the numbers in my head. Even if I can't fully clear my mind, it helps. 


Writing your thoughts and frustration down is a great choice when you're at a function where your social battery is draining, and you don't think it's appropriate to leave or talk to someone about it. While it may not do much, and you'll still be drained, journaling is a great way to relieve some of that stress.

This is especially true if you do it consistently over time and make it a regular way for you to disconnect for a bit without leaving. You don't need to actually have a journal on you; you can vent in your notes app on your phone. 

Get In Tune With Nature 

If you're in a spot where you can take a break, go outside, and enjoy the fresh air, take that opportunity to do so! Make sure you take a break alone so that you can have a moment of peace.  It's even better if you're located somewhere where the view of nature is particularly beautiful to experience. It's a great way to meditate and recharge. 

Hang With People More Often

This may be the piece of advice you hate the worst; trust me, I don't like it either. But I find that when I was at my most hermit self, staying all alone for the most part and working from home, my social battery was at its smallest overall.

The more consistently I went out and got more social (in small doses), the more comfortable I was with being out for longer. It's always good to have balance as an introvert and to make sure you don't climb so far into your shell that you never want to come out.

Take A Nap

Who doesn't love a good nap now and then? Sleep is a great choice for the introvert who has to be dragged along to a social experience that lasts for hours or a full day. You will find that sleep in between social moments can really help recharge you here and then. 

The sleep doesn't even need to be that long. You can try short or power naps that are 15 to 30 minutes to reset yourself a bit in terms of social energy. It won't be as great as a full night's sleep, of course, but it's better than nothing. 

Make Time For Yourself

If you find that you are often around friends, family, or coworkers in your schedule, you will need to take extra time and energy to fight for your personal space. Time management will be crucial for situations where you can only get a few minutes or hours to yourself a day.

Get a set schedule where you can put time aside to be in your own world, even if it's only for a few minutes. Make sure that time happens consistently. Don't budge for anyone because this is a huge part of self-care for you. 


Working out is almost always a good idea. A nice walk with nature and a mindfulness meditation while you walk around may be able to fully recharge your battery when you combine them! According to the CDC website:

"Physical activity can improve your cognitive health—helping you think, learn, problem-solve, and enjoy an emotional balance. It can improve memory and reduce anxiety or depression."

Relate With Other Introverts

We all love to relate to one another in some form or fashion. Even though introverts like being in their own space, they also appreciate not being alone with that behavior pattern. I find that venting to my other introvert friends helps relieve some of my stress and tension.

You don't even have to be around other introverts to relate to one another. There are plenty of social sites and groups out there dedicated to introverts who can relate and converse with one another on the type of terms that introverts feel comfy! Let's shun the extroverts for a bit! 

Don't Blame Yourself

I have to stress this point one more time because it's the message I need to get across to myself the most! I can only imagine the pressure that other introverts put on themselves when it comes to their social battery draining. You can feel like a party pooper, a bad person, a weirdo, and tons of other negative names when you hit those low battery moments.


As long as you communicate with those around you, try as hard as you can, be there in moments where you can, and give yourself the grace to be who you are, everything will work out as it should.

Don't let anyone tell you that you are a bad person for being who you are when it comes to introversion. And don't let yourself tell yourself that you are a bad person for being an introvert. 

Posted in: Self Love
8 Powerful Bible Verses About Insecurity That Changed Me

Powerful Bible Verses About Insecurity

We've all had a moment in our lives where it seems like we couldn't like or accept ourselves. Whether it be physical or mental, feeling insecure is one of the worst ways to feel in the world. It seems like it could be so easy to reverse that train of thought, but the harder you try, the more difficult it can seem to get.

Insecurity comes in many different forms and affects us in different ways as well. We can have constant insecurity gnaw at us all of our lives subconsciously, or we can be hit with a huge dose of insecurity right at the peak of an embarrassing moment. 

Fortunately, there are a few ways to combat feelings of anxiety and insecurity that are truly effective. One method is to read motivational excerpts from prolific writers who can provide you with daily affirmations to build your strength and confidence.

What better book to reference that can provide us with positive affirmations of our lives than The Holy Bible? The good book provides tons of advice in life about love, loss, war, sin, and so many things, but many forget that The Bible can also help you with your insecurities. 

I want to share some of my favorite bible verses that have helped me through my journey of defeating my insecurities day by day. Some of these messages are stored in my personal notes for daily affirmations, and it helps to repeat them time and again to remind me of what I need.

I hope these verses can also provide you with the power and love in your heart that you are in need of at a time when insecurity may be trying to rip you apart. The first step to letting go of the load is to realize that you are not alone in this. 

Romans 8:31-32

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Philippians 4:6-9

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

1 Corinthians 10:13

13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Romans 12:2

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 8:35-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a]

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-39

You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure,

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Posted in: Self Love
Excuses For Not Hanging Out - 7 Good Ideas That Aren't Lies

Excuses For Not Hanging Out

It was easy to get away with dumb excuses as a child for not doing things, like. "my dog ate my homework". It's been pretty risky to get away with dumb excuses as a young adult for not doing things, like, "I didn't get your text". But are you sick of the excuses and ready to find more mature ways to turn things and people down?

As a struggling introvert that loses her social energy super fast, I'm sick of the excuses. I'm also trying to be a woman of God, so I want to avoid the lies, even if they can be little white or grey ones. 

When it comes to social rules and regulations, a lot of things are hard to grasp and unspoken. When you have friends, family members, coworkers, or acquaintances inviting you to things you don't want to go to, it's not always appropriate to flat-out say no.

So how do you come up with a good excuse or reason not to hang out somewhere that won't be a huge lie and won't make you look like a terrible person? Below are some of the phrases I like to use that doesn't make me feel extra guilt afterward, and people don't cut me off with hurt feelings for it. 

I'm Overloaded With Work

This is my go-to excuse because it's really the most honest one I have. A lot of times, I'm considering going out, there is work that I could be doing instead. So if at that moment I really don't want to go out, I will likely do some light work while I watch Netflix. 

My Energy Is Drained

This is a good excuse to use with people who know me and those who don't know how small my social battery is. We can all relate to drained energy, and you don't even have to get specific about if it's your mental or physical energy that is drained. 

I'm Not Feeling Too Well

This is a great general phrase that could be saying you're sick and contagious or could be saying you're feeling lazy and depressed. The only risk with this one is that there will possibly be an immediate follow-up question about what's wrong.

You can answer with any current physical or mental problem you're going through. I, for example, am suffering from allergies on a daily. While it rarely keeps me down so much that I can't function, I'm also never lying when I say my allergies bothered me that day. 

My Energy Is Negative Right Now

Chances are, if you're dreading a hang out with a group of people, you're also going through some negative self-talk in your head. So, it won't be too much of a stretch to say that your energy is too negative to show up at the function.

No one wants to be around a negative nancy, and although you may be able to brighten your mood (or fake it long enough to hang out), you can say that you don't know for sure if you will be able to fight the funk.

It's Not In My Budget

This won't work for all my rich folks out there, but I, for one, can often relate to being broke in some type of way when it comes to my finances. I'm not claiming broke to the point where I'm struggling, but middle-class Americans are all BROKE from some perspective!

There's Too Much On My Plate Right Now

This is a good excuse for when you have a lot going on, but you don't want to unload all the details on the person inviting you. If you simply say this phrase with a worried look, they will likely be able to relate. It could be work, family, love life drama, health, and so many other things that won't allow you to hang out.

My Anxiety Won't Let Me Be Great 

We've all experienced some form of anxiety in our lives because that's a huge part of human nature. I used to have really bad anxiety that still stops me from things here and there, which could be my perfect excuse for not going out.

Social anxiety is a great reason for not going somewhere, but you could also claim health-related anxiety like OCD or PTSD that is stopping you from going to a certain place or at a certain time if you want to stretch it with a white lie.  


I want to end on a note that is something like a devil's advocate point of view. These can all be good reasons not to hang out with whomever for whatever reason, but even introverts like me have moments where they regret not hanging out, or they force themselves to go and wind up being grateful they did. 

Before delivering your excuse, ask yourself if this is something you really should be excusing yourself from. Is this the type of thing that you drag your feet to involve yourself with but enjoy once you get there? 

Is this the type of activity event where the pros will vastly outweigh the cons when it comes to the overall experience? Is this a situation where your presence will help bless someone else or several other people?

Sometimes it's great to turn down things for your own health and peace of mind, but other moments are times when you can really be a light to help shine in someone else's life. 

Posted in: Self Love
How And Why To Stop Expecting 'You' From People

Expecting You From People 

Our view of the correct way to act in life is shaped by our past experiences. We sometimes forget that when we expect people to act how we would act in any given scenario. People are not shaped the same way we have been shaped, so you can't expect 'you' from other people. 

It's hard to come to grips with this fact when you're faced with a moment of confusion when someone lets you down by not making the 'right' decision. But what is right for you may not be right for them. Or even worse, you may be objectively wrong about the correct choice to make. 

Not Everone Plays By The Same Rules

When we first come into the world as little babies, we form a perception that the entire universe revolves around us. Even though that type of selfish thinking fades over time, adults are often plagued with the idea that people's mind works the same way that theirs does. 

But it's not true. Our minds all work in strange and unique ways. Some of this is because of nature, some of the reason is down to nurture, and the rest is shaped by pure life experience. 

We can all have different morals and different ways we process problems and life's struggles. To expect that people will make the same decisions as you as they walk through their very different paths in life is a bit silly. The more you realize this, the clearer your head will become about the situation overall. 

We all have different personality traits. Some of us are extroverted and make decisions based on that fact, while others are introverted, and their need for alone time or to stay out of the spotlight can shape their decision-making process.

Not Everyone Is As Kind As You May Be

Many people who are generally good human beings expect that people, at worst, are about as good as they are. But there are tons of terrible folks just walking around the planet at this very moment.

A common sentiment among decent and good people, when faced with someone who makes an awful moral choice, is that "it just doesn't make sense. How could someone be so cruel or evil to another person?

Most decent people would have to be pushed to extremes to relate to that type of behavior, but many unkind people are living among us as neighbors, friends, and family members. In the case of virtue, you should definitely not expect 'you' from people. 

Some People Are Stuck In Bad Loops

Another common moment where you may mistakenly believe that people will make the same decision that you would is when it comes to being stuck in a vicious cycle. These cycles can include bad relationships, addictions, and complacency. 

No matter how much a person can realize how bad their current cycle is, you can't get them out of it by simply telling them to do what you would do. 

Think of it this way: what if you knew something that you were doing was wrong, and you knew exactly how to stop it, but you just didn't have the willpower to make it happen? It can be easy to judge someone's life from the outside in, but take a moment to put yourself in another person's shoes.

People Can't Read Your Mind

This one is especially for my ladies out there. We sometimes think that our words, our non-verbal communication, and our overall connection with someone can grant them access to reading out minds. This can be completely unfair to do! 

I know what it can feel like to wish that your significant other will just do exactly what you want because they should know you. But there are so many factors that could be stopping them from being on your same wavelength, so help them with open and honest communication.

It can feel strange to get what you want to truly get out in a tense scenario, so don't be afraid to get creative with your communication methods. You can write a letter, send a voice chat, write a poem, or just take some time to gather your thoughts to present to them at a later time. 

Posted in: Self Love