After my hubby proposed to me a couple of years back, I had a burning desire to return the favor with something that matched his taste and preferences that he would cherish. I planned out a whole thing with a dance and a song, and I proposed to him a few weeks after he proposed to me.
But as I was doing my research to find the perfect ring for him, I realized there aren't really that many options out there when it comes to engagement rings for men. Wedding bands and engagements kind of blend into one product when it comes to shopping for guys, and the market seems to be very small.
As I was planning to propose to my boo, people were making faces when I told them my plans and saying things like, "Oh, aren't you modern." I really didn't think about how engagement rings were seemingly only for women until I got proposed to.
What's so bad about getting a guy a ring, and why aren't jewelers capitalizing on the prospect of selling more with two rings instead of one when it comes to this very special moment in a couple's lives?
I almost took offense to the whole idea that I would be the only one getting a ring for the engagement because I felt like I wasn't the only one entering the agreement, so it didn't make a lick of sense to me. Just as much as Julian saw me as the prize, I wanted to see him as the prize as well.
One of the known reasons behind this lacking of male bling is because of the history of how engagement rings work. Before 1945, this ring was tied to a woman's virginity and used as a type of collateral. Very old-timey and a hot mess, I know.
Back in the day, giving a girl an engagement ring allowed a man to give her a test drive, so to speak. But if he backed out of the engagement, she would be able to keep the ring that was given as a sort of insurance. And this was needed because in the olden days if you were deflowered and not wed, you would be damaged goods.
If you were damaged goods, then you would not be able to find a husband, which would put your financial situation in grave danger as a woman in those times. But for a man, purity or virginity didn't have the same weight, so it wasn't necessary for them to get these rings.
In more modern times, where women are more sexually liberated and able to provide for themselves financially, the rules don't really need to apply the same way that they did back in the day, but old habits stick.
This is not to say that I am a super unique case when it comes to getting an engagement ring for my man. Many other ladies have chosen to do the same shortly after being proposed to, and more modern ladies out there have decided to be the first ones to get down on one knee and propose to their man!
Giving your man an engagement ring would rarely be a bad idea. It's a great way to show your man that you appreciate and cherish him as much as he does you and a good way to signify that you are entering into a partnership where both of you can shine.
If your guy is one that already into wearing jewelry and likes to be a bit flashy, getting a ring for him is a definite yes. If one of his top love languages is receiving gifts, he will absolutely cherish the ring you give him.
If you have a guy that really doesn't like to wear jewelry or a ring, in particular, you may want to try showing your appreciation for him in the form of a different gift that fits his preferences better.
Should you feel compelled like you absolutely have to get your man a ring just because he gave one to you? Absolutely not! If that's not your style, then don't try to force something that isn't natural for you. You can have a perfectly healthy engagement and marriage without giving him an engagement ring.
It's a myth that wearing an engagement ring will make your guy less of a man, so don't subscribe to that nonsense if you hear someone spouting it around you or him. There also won't be any bad luck of you put a ring on him before the wedding.
Now here's the tricky part: where to find a good ring to buy! As I previously stated, when you're shopping for an engagement ring for men, you'll likely just run across a bunch of wedding bands since the market isn't really large enough.
You'll also run into a ton of cheap rings. The price for a guy's ring will be around 1/10th of the rings you'll see for women. While it may seem like a bad idea, a cheap ring can really come in handy for a guy that enjoys simple things and doesn't need anything that will break the bank.
For rings on the cheaper side that are more of a token of love and great for young couples, you can find some pretty nice choices on a site like Amazon that will give you a bit of variety when it comes to sellers and designs.
If you're looking for more premium products with rings that are designed to last for a long time, try a brand like Manly Bands, which has tons of lovely-looking rings that men are very proud to rock wherever they go.
To avoid getting your fiance basically two bands, consider getting him a less expensive ring for the engagement and replacing that with a fancier band for the wedding. The wedding bands look just like engagement rings for men, and it's not likely that you'll find a man who will want to wear two bands.
Men often suck at trying to hide the surprises that they have for you. The more in love with you and excited they are, the clumsier they can get. This is where you can take advantage and get the inside scoop on whether or not he's about to propose!
My husband was particularly sloppy around the month that he planned to propose, and it was hilariously adorable how he thought he was slick. He made up some story about his grandma needing to get her ring size and the fact that our fingers looked about the same. Super sloppy, sir.
There are at two reasons you'll be able to tell that he's got something up his sleeve. First off, a lot of boyfriends can be terrible planners. This can cause them to take drastic and overly-obvious measures to get to that 'will you marry me' moment.
Another thing to consider is that he'll be super nervous about the whole ordeal. Chances are, you know how he acts in general when he's nervous or bubbly about something that's coming up, and his emotional energy will be a dead giveaway.
This is a huge deal, especially if you see him getting really chatty with a father figure in your life. The traditional way to go with engagements is to get the approval of the father first.
If your man starts mentioning things about the future, what type of house you'll be living in, and the money he sees you both making a few years down the line, he has probably made up his mind that he'll be proposing to you pretty soon.
All relationships can have friction from time to time, even if it seems so light that it's something you both can have fun with. But when your man is about to propose to you, he'll be extra careful to make sure that things are going as smoothly as possible with you. He needs you to say yes to his big question, so it may seem like he's saying yes to everything you as!
As I mentioned, my husband was not slick with the ring sizing secrecy. I'll admit that it was a tough question to crack since I didn't wear rings before we got married. Many guys will draw a blank when to comes to a slick way to get your ring size.
Is your man being a bit more frugal than usual, and you don't know the reason? He may be saving up for something special, like an engagement ring. If he's saving for something else, you would likely be in on the details.
This directly ties into my last point. If you notice he's secretive about his shopping and browsing habits, an upcoming engagement might be the reason. He may even start hiding his phone to make sure he doesn't slip up. This could be something else entirely, though, so make sure you're jumping to a likely conclusion.
If you do come across his phone, or computer, or happen to share his wifi, personalized ads can really give stuff away. If he were shopping for engagement rings online, many advertisers would remind him of that with banner ads on all types of social sites and blogs.
Is there a holiday coming up that he's being extra dramatic about this year for some reason? Is there a trip he's planning that's weirding you out because he's rarely the one to plan trips, especially if it seems particularly fancy for no specific reason? he may have gotten you a ring already.
People love to reminisce about the good times when they are at significant stages in their lives. Your man has probably spent some time going over all the ways your relationship makes him happy and wants to share some of those moments with you by default out of love.
Now that he's looked back over his life and he's thinking things over, your boo will be in the mindset of getting himself together as a man to prepare for this crucial moment in his journey. He may make better financial choices, learn things around the house, and even improve communication.
A man that is planning to win you over and make you say yes to one of the most important questions he'll ever ask in his life is likely to try and look his absolute best around that time as well. Looking better will help him feel better, and make him a more attractive mate that you can agree to marry.
Men who are looking forward to getting married can often show their excitement in the form of mental touch and physical closeness. He wants to be your physical security and protector, and he thrives on the idea that you will be all his.
Not only can men get touch-feely when they are in love and about to give you an engagement ring, but they get a sort of twinkle in their eye that can be a bit transparent if you know how to read them well enough as a partner. You'll see the whirlwind of happiness and visions of your future together in his gaze back at you.
You'll probably see him being a little nervous and unlike himself, if he's near the time when he wants to propose to you. People give off nervous energy in a variety of different ways depending on their personality traits. He may be more chatty or less. He may be more chipper or more worried.
While guys like to go to the family members for approval, they also tend to go for the best friends when it comes to ring choices and plans for the day that they will propose. People in relationships have a general consensus that your friends will know more about what you want than your family would, but it's all case by case.
A lot of new couples get together and chat about having babies and getting married early on. Many of us have gone that far, even on the first date. But there's a subtle change in the marriage and family talk when they mean it. It's a little less cutest and more concrete with the plans.
Intuition can be a crazy thing that some people don't believe exists at all. I've often found that intuition can be paranoia, which is all in your head, but I've also seen that it can be a response to genuine non-verbal communication signals.
If the natural progression of things seems like it is heading towards marriage based on all of your previous successful days together, then that may be enough of a sign in itself. As long as you both are on the same page in terms of communication, you can truly be like a mind-reader and know that the ring is coming!