Questions To Ask Before Moving In Together

Moving in together is a significant milestone in any relationship. To ensure a smooth transition and a harmonious living arrangement, it's crucial to ask the right questions.

I moved in with my husband a few years before we actually got engaged; it's taboo, I know. But it worked out really well for us, and I think it's because we asked other great couples we know for advice, and we asked each other some or most of the questions below.

Here's a comprehensive guide to help you explore various aspects of your partnership before taking the plunge. While these are great questions, you also want to make sure there is 100% honesty in your answers. Hopefully, your partner will do the same!

House Questions

a. General Living Arrangements:

1. How do you envision dividing household chores?
2. Are you a neat freak, or do you lean towards a more relaxed approach to cleanliness?
3. What is your stance on having pets in the house?
4. How do you handle daily tasks like grocery shopping and cooking?

b. Home Decor and Personal Space:

1. How will we decorate our shared living spaces?
2. Do you prefer having separate personal spaces within our home?
3. How do you handle disagreements about the appearance of our home?
4. What are your thoughts on hosting gatherings and guests at our home?

c. Tech and Lifestyle Compatibility:

1. What are your thoughts on screen time and technology use at home?
2. How do you manage guests and entertaining at home?
3. What is your stance on having a dedicated workspace at home?
4. How do you feel about setting boundaries for personal time and space?

d. Shared vs. Individual Expenses:

1. How will we split the costs of household items and shared expenses?
2. What approach do you prefer for managing joint finances — equal contributions or percentage-based?
3. How will we handle unexpected expenses that arise in our shared living space?

Finance Questions 

a. Income and Financial Goals:

1. What is your current financial situation, including income, savings, and debts?
2. How do you approach budgeting and saving money?
3. What are your short-term and long-term financial goals?
4. Do you have any outstanding financial commitments or obligations?

b. Shared Expenses and Budgeting:

1. How will we split rent and utility bills?
2. Are you comfortable combining finances, or do you prefer separate accounts?
3. How do you feel about creating a joint budget and financial plan?
4. What is your philosophy on spending money on non-essential items?

c. Emergency Planning:

1. What are your thoughts on emergency funds and financial preparedness?
2. How will we handle unexpected expenses or financial setbacks?
3. Do you have any insurance policies or plans in place for unforeseen circumstances?
4. How do you feel about financially supporting family members if the need arises?

d. Future Financial Planning:

1. How do you envision managing finances in the event of significant life changes, such as job loss or career shifts?
2. What is your perspective on saving for major life events like buying a house or retirement?
3. How do you feel about joint investments and financial risks?

Future Of Union Questions

a. Relationship Goals and Milestones:

1. What are your long-term goals for our relationship?
2. How do you see our relationship evolving over time?
3. What milestones would you like to achieve together?
4. How do you envision celebrating important anniversaries and achievements?

b. Career and Location Preferences:

1. Are you open to relocating for career opportunities?
2. How do you balance individual career aspirations with our relationship goals?
3. What is your perspective on work-life balance?
4. How do you handle the possibility of one partner having to travel frequently for work?

c. Marriage and Commitment:

1. How do you feel about marriage, and is it something you envision for our future?
2. What are your views on commitment and monogamy?
3. How would you handle challenges or conflicts within our relationship?
4. Do you believe in seeking couples therapy or counseling if needed?

d. Family Planning:

1. Do you see children in our future, and if so, how many and when?
2. How do you feel about adopting children or alternative family-building methods?
3. What role would each of us play in parenting, and how would responsibilities be divided?
4. How do you envision balancing career and family life?

Spiritual Questions 

a. Beliefs and Values:

1. What role does spirituality or religion play in your life?
2. How do your spiritual or moral beliefs influence your decision-making?
3. Are there specific traditions or practices you would like to incorporate into our home life?
4. How open are you to exploring and embracing each other's spiritual beliefs?

b. Compatibility of Beliefs:

1. How do you handle differing beliefs or values within a relationship?
2. Are there specific spiritual or religious practices you would like to share or celebrate together?
3. How important is it for you that your partner shares similar spiritual beliefs?
4. How do you plan to incorporate your spiritual beliefs into major life events?

c. Support and Understanding:

1. How can we support each other in our individual spiritual or personal growth journeys?
2. Are there particular events or rituals that hold significance for you?
3. How do you envision incorporating spirituality into our shared life?
4. How would you handle disagreements related to spiritual or moral beliefs?

d. Open Communication:

1. How comfortable are you discussing spiritual matters, and how do you prefer to handle disagreements on these topics?
2. How do you envision maintaining open communication about your evolving spiritual beliefs over time?

Children Questions 

a. Family Planning and Timing:

1. When do you see yourself ready for parenthood?
2. How many children would you ideally like to have?
3. What are your thoughts on adoption or fertility treatments?
4. How do you envision preparing for the arrival of a child in terms of space, finances, and emotional readiness?

b. Parenting Styles:

1. How were you raised, and how does that influence your parenting style?
2. What role do you believe each parent should play in a child's life?
3. How do you feel about co-parenting responsibilities, including sharing household and childcare duties?
4. How do you plan to handle differences in parenting styles between you and your partner?

c. Education and Upbringing:

1. What values and principles do you want to instill in our children?
2. How do you approach discipline and setting boundaries for children?
3. What are your thoughts on homeschooling versus traditional education?
4. How would you address challenges related to your child's education, such as learning disabilities or special needs?

Safety Questions 

a. Emergency Preparedness:

1. How do you handle emergency situations, and what steps have you taken to be prepared?
2. Are you trained in basic first aid and CPR?
3. What security measures do you believe are necessary for our home?
4. How do you plan to address natural disasters or other emergencies that may affect our living situation?

b. Conflict Resolution:

1. How do you approach conflict, and what steps do you take to de-escalate a situation?
2. Are there any past experiences or traumas that may impact our living situation?
3. How can we establish a conflict resolution strategy for handling disagreements in our relationship?
4. How do you ensure open communication during times of stress or tension?

c. Health and Wellness:

1. What are your health habits, and how do you prioritize wellness in your life?
2. Are there any health concerns or conditions that I should be aware of?
3. How do you approach mental health and self-care?
4. How can we support each other's physical and mental well-being in our shared living space?

d. Communication about Safety:

1. How can we establish open communication about safety concerns and ensure a supportive environment for each other?
2. What steps will you take to address and communicate potential safety hazards in our living space?
3. How do you envision dividing responsibilities for maintaining a safe and secure home?
4. How will you handle discussions about implementing safety measures, such as a home security system?

I know it may seem like overkill. Hopefully, some of these answers will be things you've already shared with each other, so you can breeze past some of them.

Some of the questions also overlap, but it's good to be thorough with someone you are considering living with! Especially if you are looking for them to be a permanent part of your life in the future! 

What Is Black Love?

"Black love" generally refers to the romantic relationships and connections between individuals who identify as Black or African American.

The term emphasizes the unique experiences, challenges, and cultural nuances that may shape these relationships within the Black community. It is often used to celebrate and promote positive images of Black couples, families, and love stories.

The concept of black love also extends beyond romantic relationships to encompass a broader sense of community and solidarity among Black individuals.

It can be seen as a form of resistance against negative stereotypes and challenges that Black communities may face.

Black Love Quotes

As a newlywed who is deep in some magnificent and powerful black love, I thought today would be a good day to go over some of my favorite quotes on the matter.

Black love isn't better or worse than any other love; it's just unique and brings me joy to see and witness on a daily basis. 

Let me kick it off with a couple of quotes of my own about the love of my life!

"I never felt I could ever be more than just me. But there is the magic we feel and others sense when we are together. It’s crazy. I love us completely different than how I love myself or love him. We are actually a presence that combines both of our strengths most epically."

"I grew up being told and shown all my life that fairy tale love is BS. THEY LIED TO ME. I’m literally in HEAVEN with this man. Our love is the most beautiful love I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen some FIRE love examples. But listen. God blessed us with something damn near impossible. Honestly. Truly. Our love is beautifully outrageous. And every second of it is a blessing beyond what anyone could deserve."

Inspirational Black Love Quotes

"Y’all can convince y’all selves otherwise but I want the marriage, the black love, the family, the house, the holiday traditions, all of that!" - Dyamond Ahmoni

"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope." - Maya Angelou

"I found God in myself, and I loved her, I loved her fiercely." - Ntozake Shange

"Black love means resilience in the world that is not always kind to black and Brown mean and women. Black Love is courageous, resilient and inspiring." - Brandon And Erica 

"Single or in a relationship it’s beautiful to witness. Especially black love. So when a day like this comes around it’s always nice to see couples appreciating each other." - Call Me Kada

"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." - Zora Neale Hurston

"Celebrating and embracing Black on Black Love is the key for us to achieve greatness as a Black/African People. We are Beautiful. We are Black Gold." - Black History Studies

"Black love is black wealth." - Nikki Giovanni

"For me black love is the ability to love your mate and be unapologetically black while celebrating black excellence." - Anthony And Sheena

"In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine." - Maya Angelou

Thought-Provoking Black Love Quotes

"Put the phones down and to step into the real world. Black love is thriving & beautiful." - J. Mulholland

"We need a new genre of Hip Hop that promotes reparations, Black love and Black businesses." - Spirit Logical

"My Black love does not make me believe in American democracy. My Black love leads me to organize for the complete destruction of this settler colonial state and towards the freedom of Black people globally."  SoulRevision

"I'm in love with my work and I'm in love with the people I get to do it with." - Ava DuVernay

"Black love is too complicated to be televised." - Jayroshanee

"Paradise is one’s own place, One’s own people, One’s own world, Knowing and known, Perhaps even Loving and loved." - Octavia Butler

"Black love is lineage. It’s an infinite display of admiration for the black woman and her love for the black man." - Unknown

"I want that healthy black love! not this sneaky, toxic stuff y’all like.." - Monty J Black men need Black women. Black women need Black men. Black families need Black love." - FTRilliams 

Keeping Black Love Alive

Cultivating Black love, like any other form of love, involves intentional efforts, communication, and mutual support. Here are some tips for nurturing and strengthening Black love.

Communication is Key: Foster open and honest communication to build a foundation of trust and understanding. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with each other. Be active listeners, seeking to comprehend each other's perspectives without judgment.

Celebrate Your Heritage: Embrace and celebrate your cultural heritage as a couple. Share traditions, stories, and experiences that hold significance to both of you. Participate in cultural events and activities together to strengthen your connection.

Build a Strong Foundation: Establish a foundation of trust, respect, and mutual understanding. Work together to create shared values and goals for your relationship. This solid base will provide stability during challenging times.

Support Each Other's Dreams: Encourage and support each other's personal and professional aspirations. Be each other's cheerleader, celebrating successes, no matter how big or small. Creating a supportive environment for individual growth contributes to the overall health of the relationship.

Cultivate Friendship: Nurture a deep friendship in your relationship by enjoying shared interests and spending quality time together. Build a foundation of companionship that extends beyond the romantic aspect of your relationship, creating a lasting connection.

Navigate Challenges Together: Understand that challenges are a natural part of any relationship. Approach problems as a team, supporting each other through difficulties. Collaboratively seek solutions to strengthen your bond.

Express Love and Affection: Regularly express love and affection through words, gestures, and actions. Small acts of kindness and appreciation can go a long way in maintaining a strong emotional connection.

Prioritize Self-Care: Recognize the importance of self-care for both individuals in the relationship. Take care of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Encourage and support each other in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate important milestones in your relationship, such as anniversaries, achievements, or personal growth. Create memorable experiences that deepen your connection and appreciation for each other.

Learn and Grow Together: Embrace a mindset of continuous learning and growth. Be open to evolving individually and as a couple. Attend workshops, read books, or engage in activities that contribute to the enrichment of your relationship. Approach your relationship with love, patience, and a commitment to mutual growth.

Transparency In A Relationship

In the intricate dance of love, romantic relationships, and marriage, a subtle yet profound force transforms the ordinary into something extraordinary—transparency.

This isn't just about sharing your daily musings; it's about revealing your true self, quirks and all, to someone who's not just a life partner but a companion on the rollercoaster journey of self-discovery.

When you bring your true self to the table, it's like opening a window to your soul. This isn't about perfection; it's about embracing the beautifully messy reality of being human, flaws and all.

Being Transparent Yet Tactful

Open communication isn't a license to blurt out every thought in your head. It's an art—a delicate dance between being real and being mindful of your partner's feelings.

It involves expressing one's thoughts and feelings authentically while remaining mindful of the impact words can have on a partner's heart and soul. This art of communication is guided by love and compassion.

Think of it as a dance of words where the melody is kindness, and the rhythm is understanding. It's the kind of communication that not only fosters intimacy but also respects the unique dance your partner is doing alongside you.

Building Trust With Transparency  

Trust isn't just a buzzword; it's the solid ground your relationship stands on. When you're open and honest, you build a bridge of trust between you and your partner.

Trust is the cornerstone of any strong marriage, and transparency lays the foundation for this trust to flourish. If there are things that are hidden beneath the surface, those mysteries can easily turn into insecurities and big problems down the road. 

This trust in a Godly marriage mirrors the trust that believers place in their Creator. It is an acknowledgment that, just as they surrender to the divine plan, they also surrender to the shared journey they undertake as partners in marriage.

Being Your Full Self Takes A Load Off

Picture this: You're in a space where you don't need to wear masks. Being transparent is liberating; it's the freedom to be your unfiltered, unapologetic self.

With transparency, partners are encouraged to love and accept each other as God loves and accepts them—completely and without judgment. This is where friendship really kicks in, where you can confide in one another without hiding anything. 

Deepening Understanding Of Your Partner 

Transparency in a godly marriage goes beyond surface-level revelations. It involves sharing the depths of one's heart, exposing vulnerabilities, and creating a space for mutual understanding to blossom.

As spouses share their truths, they embark on a journey of deepening emotional and spiritual intimacy. In this space, you and your partner become allies, navigating the complexities of life together. This is another aspect that really strengthens the friendship aspect of love. 

Sharing Even When You Don't Understand Yourself 

Relationships aren't always smooth sailing, and that's perfectly okay. Transparency isn't just for the good times; it's for the moments when you're unsure of yourself.

It's the courage to say, "I don't have all the answers," or, "My honest thoughts aren't really making sense." In these moments, you and your partner grow together, finding strength in vulnerability.

Just because you are unsure doesn't mean you should keep things to yourself! 

Is There A Such Thing As Being Too Transparent? 

While being open is key, it's crucial to strike a balance. Healthy relationships thrive on openness, but they also respect personal boundaries. This balance ensures that openness doesn't overshadow the importance of personal space.

For example, there are some things that your partner just doesn't want to hear about since it doesn't interest them. Or, there may be things inconsequential about your past that your partner doesn't need to hear about. 

The balance varies from couple to couple by a lot, so the best thing to find that out is to grow in your relationship while being aware of pain points, maintaining respect and trust, as well as knowing each other's love languages. 

Tips For Keeping Transparency In Your Relationship 

Embrace the Journey: Remember that transparency is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you navigate the ups and downs of open communication.

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate the small victories in being transparent. Whether it's expressing a hidden fear or sharing a dream, each moment of openness strengthens the bond between you and your partner.

Keep the Conversation Alive: Make transparency an ongoing part of your relationship. Set aside time to check in with each other, share your thoughts, and discuss how you can continue growing together.

Practice Active Listening: Transparency is a two-way street. Practice active listening to truly understand your partner's thoughts and feelings. It's not just about speaking; it's about creating a space for your partner to share openly.

Find Joy in Shared Moments: As you embrace transparency, find joy in the shared moments of vulnerability and connection. These moments create a foundation for a relationship that is not only strong but also filled with love and understanding.

Balance Independence and Togetherness: While transparency is crucial, maintain a healthy balance between independence and togetherness. Allow each other the space to grow individually while nurturing the shared aspects of your relationship.

Express Gratitude: Take a moment to express gratitude for the openness in your relationship. Acknowledge the effort you and your partner put into being transparent, and let each other know how much you appreciate the honesty and authenticity.

Adapt and Grow Together: Relationships evolve, and so does the need for transparency. Be willing to adapt and grow together, embracing the changes that come with different phases of life and love.

Keep the Fun Alive: Don't forget to inject fun and playfulness into your relationship. Transparency doesn't always have to be serious; it can also be about sharing laughter, dreams, and silly moments that strengthen your connection.

Celebrate Your Unique Connection: Your relationship is a one-of-a-kind journey. Celebrate the uniqueness of your connection, and let transparency be the thread that weaves a beautiful story of love, growth, and companionship.

Self-Love Mantras

A mantra is a sacred word, phrase, sound, or group of words that is repeated and chanted during meditation or prayer.

The word "mantra" is derived from two Sanskrit words: "man," which means mind, and "tra," which means tool or instrument. Therefore, a mantra is often considered a tool for the mind.

Self-love mantras are affirmations or phrases that individuals repeat to cultivate a positive and loving attitude toward themselves.

These mantras can be powerful tools for promoting self-acceptance, boosting self-esteem, and fostering a more compassionate relationship with oneself.

When using self-love mantras, it's important to repeat them regularly with sincerity and belief. The goal is to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations, gradually reshaping your mindset and building a healthier relationship with yourself.

Combining these mantras with mindfulness and self-care practices can contribute to a more positive and loving self-perception.

100 Self-Love Mantras

1. I am worthy of love and respect.
2. My worth is not determined by the opinions of others.
3. I choose to release self-criticism and embrace self-compassion.
4. I am deserving of happiness and fulfillment.
5. I am not perfect, and that's okay.
6. I am a work in progress, and I celebrate my growth.
7. I honor the essence of who I am.
8. I am proud of the person I am becoming.
9. I am enough just as I am.
10. I forgive myself for past mistakes and learn from them.
11. I trust in my ability to overcome challenges.
12. I am a beacon of love and positivity.
13. My body is a vessel of strength and resilience.
14. I am the author of my own story and can rewrite it at any time.
15. I am not defined by my past; I am empowered by my future.
16. I radiate confidence, self-respect, and inner harmony.
17. I am free to create the life I desire.
18. My heart is open, and I am ready to receive love.
19. I choose to let go of self-doubt and embrace self-belief.
20. I am a unique and valuable person.
21. I attract positive energy into my life.
22. I release the need for approval from others.
23. I am a magnet for success and positive outcomes.
24. My mind is filled with positive and loving thoughts.
25. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.
26. I trust myself and my intuition.
27. I am worthy of my dreams and goals.
28. I am deserving of good things in life.
29. I choose love, joy, and abundance.
30. I am in charge of how I feel, and today I choose happiness.
31. I release self-sabotage and embrace self-empowerment.
32. I am a powerful creator of my reality.
33. My self-worth is not contingent on the opinions of others.
34. I am worthy of self-care and nourishment.
35. I love and appreciate my body just as it is.
36. I let go of comparisons and embrace my unique journey.
37. I am a valuable and necessary part of the universe.
38. I am grateful for the gift of life.
39. I choose thoughts that nourish and support me.
40. I am surrounded by love, and all is well.
41. I am a source of inspiration for others.
42. I trust the process of life and let go of control.
43. I am resilient and can handle whatever comes my way.
44. I am constantly evolving and growing.
45. I am deserving of love and kindness.
46. I choose peace over worry and stress.
47. I am a beautiful soul with a unique purpose.
48. I let go of fear and embrace love.
49. I am proud of my achievements, big and small.
50. I am the architect of my life; I build its foundation and choose its contents.
51. I am worthy of success and prosperity.
52. I release the need for perfection and embrace my authentic self.
53. I am a vessel of love and compassion.
54. I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
55. I let go of guilt and forgive myself.
56. I am capable of achieving my goals.
57. I am a magnet for positive opportunities.
58. I choose love, joy, and gratitude in every moment.
59. I am connected to the wisdom of the universe.
60. I am a unique and valuable person.
61. I trust that everything is unfolding for my highest good.
62. I am in control of my thoughts and choose positivity.
63. I am free to be myself, and I love who I am.
64. I am a loving and caring friend to myself.
65. I release self-doubt and embrace self-love.
66. I am deserving of all the good things life has to offer.
67. I choose to see the good in myself and others.
68. I am a powerful force for positive change.
69. I let go of old, negative beliefs that no longer serve me.
70. I am worthy of abundance in all areas of my life.
71. I am grateful for the gift of today.
72. I am surrounded by love and support.
73. I am open to receiving love and kindness from others.
74. I trust that the universe has a plan for me.
75. I am resilient, strong, and capable.
76. I am a beacon of love and light in the world.
77. I am worthy of all the blessings that come my way.
78. I release the need to control everything and trust in the unfolding of my life.
79. I am at peace with my past and excited for my future.
80. I am constantly learning and growing.
81. I am a magnet for miracles.
82. I choose to be kind to myself and others.
83. I am deserving of joy, love, and abundance.
84. I trust the journey, even when I do not understand it.
85. I am a loving and positive influence on those around me.
86. I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to.
87. I choose to let go of negative thoughts and focus on the positive.
88. I am a unique and valuable person, and I bring my own special light to the world.
89. I am worthy of love and all the good things life has to offer.
90. I am grateful for the experiences that have shaped me into who I am today.
91. I trust in the process of life and let go of the need to control everything.
92. I am free to create the life I desire.
93. I am deserving of success, happiness, and love.
94. I choose to see the good in myself and others.
95. I am confident in my ability to overcome challenges.
96. I am a vessel of love and compassion.
97. I am worthy of respect and kindness.
98. I am constantly evolving and growing.
99. I am grateful for the gift of life.
100. I am at peace with all that has happened, is happening, and will happen.

Feel free to choose the mantras that resonate most with you, and incorporate them into your daily practice of self-love and positive affirmation.

Remember, the key is to repeat these affirmations with sincerity and belief to harness their transformative power.

Protecting Your Peace 

"Protecting Your Peace" is a lovely and vital concept that emphasizes taking proactive measures to safeguard one's mental and emotional well-being.

It involves recognizing and prioritizing your mental health, creating boundaries, and making choices that contribute to a sense of inner calm and balance. Here are some key aspects of protecting your peace:

1. Self-awareness: Understand your emotions, triggers, and stressors. Being aware of your feelings allows you to address them and take necessary steps to maintain your peace of mind.

2. Setting boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial for protecting your peace. This involves learning to say no when necessary, communicating your needs to others, and creating a healthy balance between personal and social commitments.

3. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness and staying present in the moment. Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you manage stress, reduce anxiety, and promote a sense of calm.

4. Positive relationships: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Limit exposure to toxic relationships and environments that may negatively impact your mental health.

5. Healthy habits: Prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This can include regular exercise, sufficient sleep, a balanced diet, and activities that bring you joy.

6. Limiting negativity: Minimize exposure to negative influences, whether it be through social media, news, or other sources. Be selective about the information and energy you allow into your life.

7. Gratitude: Cultivate a sense of gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life. Reflecting on the things you're thankful for can shift your mindset and contribute to a more positive outlook.

8. Time management: Organize your time effectively to reduce stress and create a sense of order in your life. Prioritize tasks, set realistic goals, and avoid overcommitting yourself.

9. Learning to let go: Understand that there are things beyond your control, and it's okay to let go of what you cannot change. Acceptance and adaptability are key components of protecting your peace.

10. Seeking support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support when needed. Whether it's talking to a friend, family member, or seeking professional help, having a support system can be invaluable in maintaining your mental and emotional well-being.

It's all about making intentional choices that prioritize your mental health and contribute to a sense of overall well-being in the face of life's challenges.

Now, let's go through some of my favorite quotes that remind me why it's critical to protect my peace and sanity! I have a few of these in my notes in case I need a reminder. 

Quotes About Protecting Your Peace 

“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.” ― Wayne W. Dyer

“Always ask yourself: "What will happen if I say nothing?” ― Kamand Kojouri

“Be mindful of what you consume – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Protect your peace by choosing positivity.” ― Unknown

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." – William James

“Nothing can disturb your peace of mind unless you allow it to.” – Roy T. Bennett

"Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black

“Do not look for happiness outside yourself. The awakened seek happiness inside.” – Peter Deunov

“Not everyone deserves access to you.” – Unknown

"Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind." — Buddha

“Surround yourself with people who uplift your soul and protect your peace.” – Unknown

“When you do the right thing, you get the feeling of peace and serenity associated with it. Do it again and again.” ― Roy T. Bennett

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” —Dalai Lama

“Always say ‘my peace is more important’ when you find yourself reacting to something that doesn’t deserve your energy.” – Idil Ahmed

“If it costs you your peace it’s too expensive.” – Unknown

“Nothing external to you has any power over you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on." — Eckhart Tolle

“Be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better than being right.” – Unknown

“Let go of the thoughts that don’t make you strong." —Karen Salmansohn

“Inner Peace Tip: You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to” – Priya Florence Shah

"Your peace is more important than driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did. Let it go." – Mandy Hale

“Be so grounded with your peace that no one can disturb it.” – Unknown

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brené Brown

"The greatest misfortune that can come to a human being is to lose his inner peace. No outer force can rob him of it. It is his own thoughts, his own actions that rob him of it." — Sir Chinmoy

“Protect your peace like a warrior guards their castle. Let go of what no longer serves you.” ― Unknown

"Nothing can disturb your peace of mind unless you allow it to." – Roy T. Bennett

“When life gets overwhelming, take a step back, breathe, and protect your peace.” ― Unknown

“Go in the direction where your peace is coming from.” – C. Joybell C.

“Remaining in the wrong environment will not only drain your energy, but it will hurt your soul.” – Caitlin Gibson

“Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.” – Kimberly Jones

“Forgive, not because they deserve your forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” – Unknown

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love." — Mahatma Gandhi

"Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions." – Gerald G. Jampolsky

“Peace is not found in the absence of problems but in the presence of resilience and self-care.” ― Unknown

Not Everyone Is Going To Like You 

In a world where acceptance and understanding are paramount, acknowledging that not everyone will like you is a powerful revelation. In the vast tapestry of human connections, it's an inevitable truth: not everyone is going to like you. In fact, that's perfectly normal.

Understand the Unavoidable

Embracing the idea that not everyone will like you is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. People are diverse, with varied backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences. It's natural that not every person you encounter will resonate with your personality or values.

Recognizing this fact liberates you from the burden of seeking universal approval, allowing you to focus on being authentic and true to yourself.

Focus More On Where Love Is Mutual

Relationships thrive in an atmosphere of mutual respect and affection. Instead of investing energy in one-sided friendships, focus on nurturing connections where love and appreciation flow both ways. These relationships act as a source of emotional support, encouragement, and joy, enriching your life in profound ways.

It Can Show You Some Flaws

Interactions where you face dislike or criticism can act as mirrors reflecting your own flaws and shortcomings. Rather than dismissing negative feedback, use it as a catalyst for self-improvement.

Embrace the opportunity to introspect, identify areas for growth, and work on becoming a better version of yourself. Personal growth often stems from the willingness to confront our imperfections.

No One Has Time To Be Friends With Everyone

The adage "quality over quantity" holds immense truth in the realm of friendships. Meaningful connections are not determined by the number of friends you have but by the depth of the relationships you cultivate.

Investing time and effort in a few genuine friendships can provide a sense of belonging, understanding, and camaraderie that a myriad of shallow connections never could.

Some Personality Types Just Don't Match, No Big Deal

Human personalities are diverse and complex. Some individuals naturally click, while others simply don't. It's crucial to understand that a lack of compatibility doesn't diminish your worth or theirs.

Facing the reality that not every personality will mesh well with yours liberates you from the pressure of trying to please everyone. Authenticity shines brightest when you allow yourself to be who you are, even if it means not being universally liked.

Being Comfortable With This Can Boost Your Self Worth 

Self-worth is rooted in self-acceptance and self-love. Embracing the fact that not everyone will like you is a testament to your self-assurance. Your value isn't contingent upon the approval of others; it emanates from within.

Understanding this empowers you to navigate social situations with confidence, drawing people who appreciate and respect you for your authentic self.

Working With People You Don't Like Can Make You A Better Person

Working with people you don’t like can be challenging, but it offers invaluable lessons in patience, empathy, and tolerance. These experiences refine your interpersonal skills, teaching you to navigate diverse personalities and perspectives.

Overcoming conflicts and misunderstandings fosters emotional resilience, transforming you into a compassionate and understanding individual.

Developing Empathy

When you encounter people who dislike you, it’s an opportunity to practice empathy. Try to understand their perspective and motivations. Empathizing with their feelings and experiences can provide valuable insights into human nature and broaden your own understanding of the complexities of relationships.

Some Relationships Blossom From Hate

Remarkably, some of the most profound relationships can emerge from initial dislike or animosity. People change, circumstances evolve, and perspectives shift over time.

A disagreement or conflict that once created distance might pave the way for mutual understanding and respect. These relationships, born from adversity, often possess a depth and authenticity that is truly transformative.

Why Do You Get Sleepy Around Someone You Love?

There’s something magical about being around the person you love. Beyond the butterflies and the excitement, there’s a curious phenomenon that many of us have experienced: feeling unusually sleepy when we're with our significant other.

But why does this happen? Don't you think you would be more alert and possibly even anxious with butterflies around a lover? Are they boring you? Is there something that needs to be fixed?

Before you freak out, here's the good news: it's probably a great sign that things are going just fine! And if not, it's still something that you can likely fix. Embrace these moments, for within them lies the essence of true connection and love. 

Chemical Reactions in Your Body

When you're with your loved one, oxytocin, often known as the "love hormone," floods your system. This chemical plays a crucial role in bonding and relaxation. Oxytocin levels rise, inducing a sense of calm and contentment.

Additionally, serotonin and endorphins, responsible for regulating mood and inducing pleasure, are released during moments of intimacy. These chemical reactions create a cocktail of emotions, leading to a profound sense of relaxation and, eventually, sleepiness.

Physical Contact and Affection

Physical touch, from hugs to gentle caresses, stimulates the release of dopamine, the pleasure hormone. Dopamine amplifies feelings of warmth and connection. Engaging in affectionate gestures with your partner bathes you in a sense of happiness.

This emotional connection, combined with the physical touch, promotes relaxation. The ensuing serenity gently lulls you into a state of sleepiness, creating a tranquil haven in your partner's arms.

Heartbeats Syncing

Intimate connection extends to the synchronized heartbeats of lovers. Research demonstrates that emotionally connected couples share synchronized heart rates.

This phenomenon reflects a harmonious emotional bond, inducing a sense of calmness. The synchronized heartbeats act as a lullaby, gently guiding you into a state of sleepiness as your bodies resonate in harmony.

The Timeframe You Meet Up 

Timing plays a crucial role in your energy levels. Evening rendezvous with your loved one often coincide with your body's natural wind-down phase.

Coupled with the soothing presence of your mate, this time frame enhances the desire for sleepiness. The alignment of your meeting time with your body's internal clock intensifies the feeling of drowsiness.

Their Voice/Smell May Relax You

The timbre of your loved one's voice and their unique scent possess unparalleled calming properties. A soothing voice and familiar fragrance evoke pleasant memories and emotions.

These sensory delights signal safety and love, prompting your body to relax. The resulting tranquility paves the way for sleepiness, enveloping you in a cocoon of peaceful slumber.

Mental and Emotional Exhaustion

Relationships entail navigating complex emotions and engaging in profound conversations. Sharing your deepest thoughts and fears, though liberating, can be mentally and emotionally draining. Emotional release in the presence of your partner, while deeply comforting, also leads to exhaustion.

This cathartic experience creates a sense of relief, allowing your body to unwind, culminating in the gentle pull of sleepiness.

Lowered Guard and Relaxation

Love fosters an environment of complete acceptance, enabling you to lower your emotional defenses. This vulnerability, free from judgment, promotes profound relaxation. As you revel in this emotional safety, your body surrenders to tranquility, inviting sleepiness.

The feeling of being understood and cherished fosters a state of utmost calm, making you naturally inclined to drift into slumber.

Tips for Embracing Sleepiness in Love

Cherish the Moments: Recognize that feeling sleepy around your loved one is a sign of a strong emotional connection. Embrace these moments of drowsiness as a testament to the depth of your relationship.

Prioritize Quality Sleep: Ensure you prioritize sufficient rest even if you tend to feel sleepy around your partner. Quality sleep is essential for overall well-being. Maintain a consistent sleep schedule to ensure both you and your partner are well-rested.

Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine: Establish a calming bedtime routine together. Engage in activities like reading, gentle massages, or listening to soothing music. Such rituals can enhance the sense of relaxation, making it easier to transition into sleep.

Communicate Openly: Talk openly with your partner about your sleep patterns and preferences. Understanding each other's sleep needs can lead to better sleep quality for both partners. Discuss any concerns or adjustments you need to make to accommodate each other's rest.

Practice Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness exercises together, such as meditation or deep breathing. These techniques can help you relax, reducing stress and promoting better sleep. A calm mind often leads to a restful slumber.

Limit Screen Time: Reduce screen time, especially before bedtime. The blue light emitted from devices can interfere with your sleep-wake cycle. Opt for relaxing activities instead, fostering a peaceful ambiance that enhances the natural inclination for sleepiness.

Practice Gratitude: Take a moment to express gratitude for the comforting presence of your partner. Gratitude can enhance positive emotions, promoting a sense of contentment and relaxation. A grateful heart often leads to a peaceful mind, paving the way for restful sleep.

Last Minute Date Ideas 

Not everybody likes to plan dates out far in advance as organized folks do. Not every day allows for things to go as planned, especially when the rest of life can be so demanding all the time! That doesn't mean that you should neglect quality time with your significant other.

Almost every couple can make time for some last-minute date plans that don't require much planning, time, and cash on hand. There are tons of activities to do and places to go that can constitute the perfect date night for you and your boo thang!

I keep a note of things I want to do with my husband as a sort of bucket list, but not as epic, and far longer than most lists should be. I'm always bumbling around with ideas in my head, so my iPhone notes have gotten lengthy, and I'm taking this time to organize them into date types. 

Some of my date plans are extremely intense and need to be fleshed out over time, but I'll keep those ideas for now and share them with you on a future list. Stay tuned for updates that I may add over time!

Last Minute Date Ideas At Home

Take each other on a shopping journey, but do it all from the comfort of your own home at your cavities online store locations. 

Play video games with your significant other and make the process very competitive! Thing games like Mario Kart and Mortal Kombat if you're into that type of violence. 

Take a stab at cooking a new recipe together that's a bit complex, and you normally wouldn't go for. This is recommended for couples that have been together for a while; surprising personality traits may come out!

Have a cute little poetry slam in your own home where you and your honey create written works and recite them to each other. This idea pairs really well with wine.

Do an old-fashioned puzzle together. Go for one of those puzzles that have at least 300 pieces so that you can really spend a good amount of time on it together. 

This is for my Christian couples! Do an intense bible study session together for an hour or two to really learn something and get more connected with God.

Try an at-home exercise routine together with the help of a video training course. Do something out of both comfort zones, like dancing. 

Put together a really cute picnic, but instead of going somewhere, sit out in your backyard or on your balcony and enjoy nature from your home together. 

Do a paint-and-sip in your own home with the guidance of a professional, or do a freestyle session on your own to see what you two can come up with. 

Treat each other with a spa night and include warm bubble baths and massages with your favorite oils. This pairs great with wine and good music. 

Adventurous Last-Minute Date Ideas

Go to a local trampoline park and get one of the craziest workouts of your life if you are older and unfit. Don't be alarmed if you're the only adults actually jumping around in there.

Shop til you drop and ball out at a thrift shop that is near you. This is a real treat if you have good shops with great household items near you. 

Go to a pool near you and take a romantic swim together. Indoor pools tend to be open throughout the whole year, but not enough people take advantage of them. 

Get on an app like Omegle together and talk to some random strangers on the internet. As you can imagine, a process like this can be a mixed bag, but depending on your personality type, it could be a blast!

Go to a virtual reality attraction near you that may be found in a mall or popular city. Some malls have them available all throughout the day at little kiosks. 

Go to an open mic night to enjoy musical or comedic performances. Take a risk and get on stage yourself if you've got the talent for it!

Go kayaking if you live near a local body of water. I live in DC, where there are a few spots you can add your name to for a slot at the last minute. 

Head to your local gun range and work on your shooting together. This can be very exciting but dangerous for first-times, so practice extreme caution.

Take a stab at axe throwing, which is a fun activity that is growing in popularity among those who like a fun and competitive activity. 

Get crazy and blow off some steam together at a rage room, where you will be able to completely destroy a room without having to pay any damage fees.

Free Last-Minute Date Ideas Out The House

Find the closest walking or biking trail near you that you haven't been to and go explore the route together while getting fit at the same time. 

Google free concerts near you and go to anything that's happening in your area together, even if it's something you normally wouldn't find appealing. 

Go volunteer at a local non-profit company near you. You will likely be able to find great opportunities with a simple google search! 

Visit your local zoo and explore the world without having to pay for much of anything at all. Learn about different animals together and bond over the experience that people of all ages can enjoy. 

Enjoy a local museum or tourist spot where you can take a stroll, spend some time together, and learn new things all at the same time. 

Go to exciting open houses together and explore what you both dream for your futures in a way that won't cost you much if anything at all. 

Go window shopping at your local mall and try out things that you normally wouldn't. For example, take a test drive of a great vehicle at a car dealership without any strings attached. 

Pack a lunch and your bathing suit to take a ride to your local beach to enjoy the water and nature together with the sand beneath you. 

Visit a store like Costco on a day when they give out free food samples to pig out and taste test some of the best free treats you'll ever eat. 

Go to the library together, get new library cards, and check out some books specific to couples' advice. How bad could it be? 

My Social Battery Is Drained

I say this all the time when I'm out and about. I love people, don't get me wrong. I love hanging out with friends, family, and even strangers from time to time. The problem is my social battery is extra small and low-quality. I've got an old car 1980s battery when it comes to my social tolerance.

I'm an introvert like many others, and I love being in my own space and having my alone time. I have moments where I'm talkative and can hang out for hours or days, but my energy is best when I'm alone in my own zone or with one or two other people very close to me. 

If you're like me, you've had moments where you're socializing for a while, and you suddenly just need everything to end. You're ready to go home, you need your space to recharge, and you've had enough for the day. 

When it gets really bad, I actually get a bit physically sick when trying to force myself to stay in a social scenario. I've had times when I had to immediately step away from a gathering and go home because I couldn't handle it in my gut.

Many of these times that this happens, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt along with the social battery drainage. I wonder to myself, "Why can't I just hang out longer like everybody and be okay? Why can't I be normal?"

The thing I have to remind myself is that introversion is normal, and it's totally fine. Introverts need to take time for themselves to recharge so that they can be the best versions of themselves (for themselves and for others).

Trying to force extroversion when your battery is drained is a recipe for disaster. You might wind up going to or staying at a party with negative vibes just oozing out of you, and that won't be fun for anyone. Sure, there are some times were can fake it til we make it, but that isn't doing any good for your own mental health. 

So what can you do when you need to take some time out to recharge? I want to share a few ideas that may be able to help you recharge for minutes, hours or even days at a time. In some cases, you will just need to leave for the day, but sometimes you can charge up just enough in faster than you would think.

I'm actively using a few of these methods on a daily thanks to the teaching and research I've received from my therapist, who actively works with me to help fight against many different anxieties that I deal with all the time. 

Be Honest

The one thing that helps me as I go through my process and symptoms of social battery drainage is to talk to someone I trust about it. I find that talking to my husband or my best friends about the matter really helps me to release some of the built-up tension I have.

Depending on where you are and who you are hanging out with, you may be able to just walk away from a function without any stress at all because you have a relationship with the people there who understand your personal needs. 

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation is a technique where you take a moment to find a quiet place, a comfortable place to sit or stand, and give yourself at least 15 minutes to clear your mind and breathe. I like doing mindfulness mediations where I inhale through my nose for 5 seconds, hold it for 5 seconds, and then breathe out through my mouth for 8 seconds. 

When you do this type of meditational breathing repeatedly over several minutes, you find that you can trick your body into a state of relaxation.

The real trick with mindfulness meditation is to try and clear your mind while you breathe in and out. Often when we're going through periods of stress or exhaustion, our minds are racing a mile a minute and not helping the situation at all. 

I like to focus on the breathing counts that I'm doing as I inhale in and out. Sure, some thoughts may push through here and there, but I don't judge myself for those thoughts and try to focus on the numbers in my head. Even if I can't fully clear my mind, it helps. 

Journaling

Writing your thoughts and frustration down is a great choice when you're at a function where your social battery is draining, and you don't think it's appropriate to leave or talk to someone about it. While it may not do much, and you'll still be drained, journaling is a great way to relieve some of that stress.

This is especially true if you do it consistently over time and make it a regular way for you to disconnect for a bit without leaving. You don't need to actually have a journal on you; you can vent in your notes app on your phone. 

Get In Tune With Nature 

If you're in a spot where you can take a break, go outside, and enjoy the fresh air, take that opportunity to do so! Make sure you take a break alone so that you can have a moment of peace.  It's even better if you're located somewhere where the view of nature is particularly beautiful to experience. It's a great way to meditate and recharge. 

Hang With People More Often

This may be the piece of advice you hate the worst; trust me, I don't like it either. But I find that when I was at my most hermit self, staying all alone for the most part and working from home, my social battery was at its smallest overall.

The more consistently I went out and got more social (in small doses), the more comfortable I was with being out for longer. It's always good to have balance as an introvert and to make sure you don't climb so far into your shell that you never want to come out.

Take A Nap

Who doesn't love a good nap now and then? Sleep is a great choice for the introvert who has to be dragged along to a social experience that lasts for hours or a full day. You will find that sleep in between social moments can really help recharge you here and then. 

The sleep doesn't even need to be that long. You can try short or power naps that are 15 to 30 minutes to reset yourself a bit in terms of social energy. It won't be as great as a full night's sleep, of course, but it's better than nothing. 

Make Time For Yourself

If you find that you are often around friends, family, or coworkers in your schedule, you will need to take extra time and energy to fight for your personal space. Time management will be crucial for situations where you can only get a few minutes or hours to yourself a day.

Get a set schedule where you can put time aside to be in your own world, even if it's only for a few minutes. Make sure that time happens consistently. Don't budge for anyone because this is a huge part of self-care for you. 

Exercise 

Working out is almost always a good idea. A nice walk with nature and a mindfulness meditation while you walk around may be able to fully recharge your battery when you combine them! According to the CDC website:

"Physical activity can improve your cognitive health—helping you think, learn, problem-solve, and enjoy an emotional balance. It can improve memory and reduce anxiety or depression."

Relate With Other Introverts

We all love to relate to one another in some form or fashion. Even though introverts like being in their own space, they also appreciate not being alone with that behavior pattern. I find that venting to my other introvert friends helps relieve some of my stress and tension.

You don't even have to be around other introverts to relate to one another. There are plenty of social sites and groups out there dedicated to introverts who can relate and converse with one another on the type of terms that introverts feel comfy! Let's shun the extroverts for a bit! 

Don't Blame Yourself

I have to stress this point one more time because it's the message I need to get across to myself the most! I can only imagine the pressure that other introverts put on themselves when it comes to their social battery draining. You can feel like a party pooper, a bad person, a weirdo, and tons of other negative names when you hit those low battery moments.

BUT IT IS TOTALLY OKAY!

As long as you communicate with those around you, try as hard as you can, be there in moments where you can, and give yourself the grace to be who you are, everything will work out as it should.

Don't let anyone tell you that you are a bad person for being who you are when it comes to introversion. And don't let yourself tell yourself that you are a bad person for being an introvert. 

Powerful Bible Verses About Insecurity

We've all had a moment in our lives where it seems like we couldn't like or accept ourselves. Whether it be physical or mental, feeling insecure is one of the worst ways to feel in the world. It seems like it could be so easy to reverse that train of thought, but the harder you try, the more difficult it can seem to get.

Insecurity comes in many different forms and affects us in different ways as well. We can have constant insecurity gnaw at us all of our lives subconsciously, or we can be hit with a huge dose of insecurity right at the peak of an embarrassing moment. 

Fortunately, there are a few ways to combat feelings of anxiety and insecurity that are truly effective. One method is to read motivational excerpts from prolific writers who can provide you with daily affirmations to build your strength and confidence.

What better book to reference that can provide us with positive affirmations of our lives than The Holy Bible? The good book provides tons of advice in life about love, loss, war, sin, and so many things, but many forget that The Bible can also help you with your insecurities. 

I want to share some of my favorite bible verses that have helped me through my journey of defeating my insecurities day by day. Some of these messages are stored in my personal notes for daily affirmations, and it helps to repeat them time and again to remind me of what I need.

I hope these verses can also provide you with the power and love in your heart that you are in need of at a time when insecurity may be trying to rip you apart. The first step to letting go of the load is to realize that you are not alone in this. 

Romans 8:31-32

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Philippians 4:6-9

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

1 Corinthians 10:13